In less than an hour the Chinese new year will start. The year of the Ox.
wo zhu ni men xin nian kuai le!!!
(I wish you all a happy new year!!!)
Although an official start date for the Chinese calender is not given, which probably has a lot to do with the ancient dynasties basically trying to start from year one every time a new one took over and destoying previous rulers' work, experts suggest this new year will be the year 4706.
'Interesting...' thought Dave, '... next year is 4706... I was born in 1984... that will make me 2722 on my next birthday! Cool.'
Happy 4706!
Have a great one!!
*HUGZ*
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Talk the talk.
According to Wikipedia "Liverpool has a population of 435,500, and lies at the centre of the wider Liverpool Urban Area, which has a population of 816,216."
The population of the whole of Northern Ireland is estimated around 1,759,000.
In comparison, Obama's Inauguration was apparently attended by approximately 1,800,000.
Take a moment to let those numbers sink in.
Say "Wow."
The majority of people seem to think the speech went rather well for Obama, although a few grumbles in the media could be seen from the lack of a specific sound bite they could cling to and milk for all its worth. But no big surprises there, Obama showed long ago he could talk the talk.
He sounded honest and sincere, he admitted to difficulties and hard times but was hopefull he could pull us out of Bush's era. He has offered the hand of peace to all nations, races and religions, including the non-believers. Heck, he has even offered to bring scientists in out of the cold.
And yet, within this hope inspiring message of world wide peace, Obama has already started to possibly alienate one of the world's strongest players. The Dragon, China.
China, like the majority of the world, was broadcasting the speech live and translating it as they went, when Obama said, "Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions."
The translator stopped talking when the word "communism" came up as a negative term and apparently the live broadcast was interputed by suddenly jumping back to the studio. Funnily enough, Obama then went on to say it was wrong to "cling to power through ... the silencing of dissent." This was also silenced.
China has done some fairly silly things in the past, but surely they could recognise that censoring of one of the world's most powerful and popular people is going to do their rep far more damage than leaving it in ever would.
That said, communism really does get a bad press. Wiki:
"Communism is a socioeconomic structure and political ideology that promotes the establishment of an egalitarian, classless, stateless society based on common ownership and control of the means of production and property in general. Karl Marx posited that communism would be the final stage in human society, following a socialist stage, which would be achieved through a proletarian revolution. "Pure communism" in the Marxian sense refers to a classless, stateless and oppression-free society where decisions on what to produce and what policies to pursue are made democratically, allowing every member of society to participate in the decision-making process in both the political and economic spheres of life."
"Capitalism is a very economic system in which wealth, and the means of producing wealth, are privately owned and controlled rather than publicly or state-owned and controlled. In capitalism, the land, labor, and where investments, distribution, income, production, pricing and supply of goods, commodities and services are primarily determined by private decision in a market economy largely free of government intervention. "
When Obama said "Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some" and "It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labour, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom."
Which of these ideas are actually closer to what he said?
The population of the whole of Northern Ireland is estimated around 1,759,000.
In comparison, Obama's Inauguration was apparently attended by approximately 1,800,000.
Take a moment to let those numbers sink in.
Say "Wow."
The majority of people seem to think the speech went rather well for Obama, although a few grumbles in the media could be seen from the lack of a specific sound bite they could cling to and milk for all its worth. But no big surprises there, Obama showed long ago he could talk the talk.
He sounded honest and sincere, he admitted to difficulties and hard times but was hopefull he could pull us out of Bush's era. He has offered the hand of peace to all nations, races and religions, including the non-believers. Heck, he has even offered to bring scientists in out of the cold.
And yet, within this hope inspiring message of world wide peace, Obama has already started to possibly alienate one of the world's strongest players. The Dragon, China.
China, like the majority of the world, was broadcasting the speech live and translating it as they went, when Obama said, "Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions."
The translator stopped talking when the word "communism" came up as a negative term and apparently the live broadcast was interputed by suddenly jumping back to the studio. Funnily enough, Obama then went on to say it was wrong to "cling to power through ... the silencing of dissent." This was also silenced.
China has done some fairly silly things in the past, but surely they could recognise that censoring of one of the world's most powerful and popular people is going to do their rep far more damage than leaving it in ever would.
That said, communism really does get a bad press. Wiki:
"Communism is a socioeconomic structure and political ideology that promotes the establishment of an egalitarian, classless, stateless society based on common ownership and control of the means of production and property in general. Karl Marx posited that communism would be the final stage in human society, following a socialist stage, which would be achieved through a proletarian revolution. "Pure communism" in the Marxian sense refers to a classless, stateless and oppression-free society where decisions on what to produce and what policies to pursue are made democratically, allowing every member of society to participate in the decision-making process in both the political and economic spheres of life."
"Capitalism is a very economic system in which wealth, and the means of producing wealth, are privately owned and controlled rather than publicly or state-owned and controlled. In capitalism, the land, labor, and where investments, distribution, income, production, pricing and supply of goods, commodities and services are primarily determined by private decision in a market economy largely free of government intervention. "
When Obama said "Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some" and "It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labour, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom."
Which of these ideas are actually closer to what he said?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Little Ms Driving Test.
This was it. The big day. Well... not really THE big day... more of the 1st course before the main meal...
Anywho, 30th Dec 2008, Jean was getting ready to take her driving theory test, the test she had spent liturally HOURS preparing for. Tense. Dave had tagged along for moral support, but it would all come down to her.
She approached the reception.
"Driving license please," said the lady. She then turned to Dave, "Can you have your's ready?"
"Oh no," said Dave, "I'm with her, I'll leave in a sec."
From this point on both of the receptionists seemed to assume Dave was some kind of translator and EVERY word they spoke was directed at him... Jean's flawless use of English throughout strangely did not alter this initial mistaken assumption.
"We can have the test spoken in Cantonese if she would like?"
"No," said Jean, "I don't speak Cantonese, do you have Manderin?"
"No, sorry, we have Cantonese...?"
"No, it's fine, English is fine."
"Here's a list of the languages available. Cantonese?"
Jean looked briefly at the list, "no Manderin."
"No. But we have Cantonese."
"She doesn't speak Cantonese," Dave tried to explain, "China has two languages..."
"English is fine," said Jean happily.
"Sure? We have Cantonese?"
On hindsight, someone really should have asked this guy if HE spoke English...
Crunch time. Dave left, Jean entered.
She was shown to a little table, simple layout, computer screen, mouse, headphones and small walls to seperate her from the others on computers either side. The test began.
"What should you do..."
etc etc
"A, B, A, D, C, not sure... C?..." 50 multiple choice questions, 43 correct answers needed for the pass.
Jean's mind began to wander..., 'Dave is so great.... I love Dave... so handsome...such big... eyes....'
(Note: May not have happened, but a guy can dream...)
'Stay focused Jean, B, C, not sure... A?,...'
Questions over, on to the Hazard Preception. 14 little video clips. Click when you see a danger. 44 out of 75 needed for the pass.
'AH!! CAR!!' *Click*
'AH!!!!!!! MAN!!!!!' *Click*
'AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! DOG!!!!!' *Click*
Test finished. Results Time.
Theory Part: 44 out of 50. Pass! Phew.
Hazard Part: 58!
She nailed it! Hole in One.
Next stop, license.
Anywho, 30th Dec 2008, Jean was getting ready to take her driving theory test, the test she had spent liturally HOURS preparing for. Tense. Dave had tagged along for moral support, but it would all come down to her.
She approached the reception.
"Driving license please," said the lady. She then turned to Dave, "Can you have your's ready?"
"Oh no," said Dave, "I'm with her, I'll leave in a sec."
From this point on both of the receptionists seemed to assume Dave was some kind of translator and EVERY word they spoke was directed at him... Jean's flawless use of English throughout strangely did not alter this initial mistaken assumption.
"We can have the test spoken in Cantonese if she would like?"
"No," said Jean, "I don't speak Cantonese, do you have Manderin?"
"No, sorry, we have Cantonese...?"
"No, it's fine, English is fine."
"Here's a list of the languages available. Cantonese?"
Jean looked briefly at the list, "no Manderin."
"No. But we have Cantonese."
"She doesn't speak Cantonese," Dave tried to explain, "China has two languages..."
"English is fine," said Jean happily.
"Sure? We have Cantonese?"
On hindsight, someone really should have asked this guy if HE spoke English...
Crunch time. Dave left, Jean entered.
She was shown to a little table, simple layout, computer screen, mouse, headphones and small walls to seperate her from the others on computers either side. The test began.
"What should you do..."
etc etc
"A, B, A, D, C, not sure... C?..." 50 multiple choice questions, 43 correct answers needed for the pass.
Jean's mind began to wander..., 'Dave is so great.... I love Dave... so handsome...such big... eyes....'
(Note: May not have happened, but a guy can dream...)
'Stay focused Jean, B, C, not sure... A?,...'
Questions over, on to the Hazard Preception. 14 little video clips. Click when you see a danger. 44 out of 75 needed for the pass.
'AH!! CAR!!' *Click*
'AH!!!!!!! MAN!!!!!' *Click*
'AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! DOG!!!!!' *Click*
Test finished. Results Time.
Theory Part: 44 out of 50. Pass! Phew.
Hazard Part: 58!
She nailed it! Hole in One.
Next stop, license.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Shoes
Shoes are a funny old thing. Simple design, simple function, not changed much in a fairly long time and not likely to any time soon. Sure you can add sparkly bits and dangly things and whatever else it is women spend hours upon hours looking at, but basically you put your feet in and walk, safe from little sharp and/or dirty objects you may later step on.
A sensible guy can get a decent pair of shoes somewhere in the range of £20-£50 and be set for years to come. But some people lack this common sense approach and thus the shoe industry has taken the humble shoe and turned it into a multi billion pound industry.
The Clarks website has shoes ranging from less than £10 all the way up to £120. LV shoes on the other hand start at around £300 and head up to around £4,000. In one episode of Sex and the City apparently more than £20,000 is spent on a pair.
So what is it that makes a pair of shoes "worth" so much? Again, the common sense approach would say comfort, no contest, but actually the more expensive articles are often the bigest death traps for feet. Value is generally rated by material costs, appearance, brand names, the fact that a celeb wore something similar or just because some people have too much money.
But how do you make a pair of shoes REALLY valuable, without ANY previous shoe making experience, no brand name, no shiny bits or dangly things?
Simple.
Throw them at Bush.
For anyone who didn't hear about it (seriously, how could you miss this?), during Bush's most recent and last visit to Iraq (as president at least, but will he really visit for holidays later?), journalist Muntadar al-Zaidi stood up, shouted "This is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog." (Why he doesn't like dogs I have no idea), and threw his Iraqi made shoes at the out-going president.
Bids are now coming from all over the world to buy the shoes. A former Iraqi football coach, Adnan Hamad, has offered £65,000 for the pair, but that's apparently small fry as a Saudi citizen has rumouredly offered £6,500,000. It's not entirely clear as to who actually has the shoes right now and where the money would go though, and there is a slight health warning, as the Iraqi officials has apparently beat the cr*p out of Muntadar and he may face up to 2 years in jail.
Still, this is a very new market for the shoe industry and clearly has a huge amount of potential. £6.5 mil and the shoes didn't even really hit Bush. Imagine what you would get for a bulls eye?
Dave finally had an idea for a business...
A sensible guy can get a decent pair of shoes somewhere in the range of £20-£50 and be set for years to come. But some people lack this common sense approach and thus the shoe industry has taken the humble shoe and turned it into a multi billion pound industry.
The Clarks website has shoes ranging from less than £10 all the way up to £120. LV shoes on the other hand start at around £300 and head up to around £4,000. In one episode of Sex and the City apparently more than £20,000 is spent on a pair.
So what is it that makes a pair of shoes "worth" so much? Again, the common sense approach would say comfort, no contest, but actually the more expensive articles are often the bigest death traps for feet. Value is generally rated by material costs, appearance, brand names, the fact that a celeb wore something similar or just because some people have too much money.
But how do you make a pair of shoes REALLY valuable, without ANY previous shoe making experience, no brand name, no shiny bits or dangly things?
Simple.
Throw them at Bush.
For anyone who didn't hear about it (seriously, how could you miss this?), during Bush's most recent and last visit to Iraq (as president at least, but will he really visit for holidays later?), journalist Muntadar al-Zaidi stood up, shouted "This is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog." (Why he doesn't like dogs I have no idea), and threw his Iraqi made shoes at the out-going president.
Bids are now coming from all over the world to buy the shoes. A former Iraqi football coach, Adnan Hamad, has offered £65,000 for the pair, but that's apparently small fry as a Saudi citizen has rumouredly offered £6,500,000. It's not entirely clear as to who actually has the shoes right now and where the money would go though, and there is a slight health warning, as the Iraqi officials has apparently beat the cr*p out of Muntadar and he may face up to 2 years in jail.
Still, this is a very new market for the shoe industry and clearly has a huge amount of potential. £6.5 mil and the shoes didn't even really hit Bush. Imagine what you would get for a bulls eye?
Dave finally had an idea for a business...
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Credit Suisse. Part 2.
Monday was a great day.
Not only was Dave confident he would be recieving good news from Credit Suisse any day now, he had also just recieved his quarterly grant payment from Uni and much to his surprise they had paid him £750 more than he was expecting. 'Wow.'
Unfortunately the error was quickly picked up, ah well. Even more unfortunately, a previous error which Dave had not even realised was an error was picked up at the same time. Instead of £750 more than he expected, Dave would now have £750 less. 'Darn'
Enter Thursday.
On the way to hand in a cheque for £1500, Dave popped briefly into his office at Uni. After a bit of map searching and head scratching he eventually found the right department and handed it over. "Handed it over" here meaning had it pryed from his steal vice grip.
Easy come, Easy go. Dave headed for the comfort of home.
On reaching home he discovered he had left his keys in his office. 'Damn.'
He quickly yo-yoed back and forth once more and collapsed in front of his computer to check his emails.
Credit Suisse.
This was it. This day would finally be turning around...
"... Unfortunately, having reviewed the performance of all of our candidates being interviewed, we will not be progressing your application further at this time..."
...
'*%£*"$*"!!!!!!!!!'
But on the bright side it would be Monday again soon.
Not only was Dave confident he would be recieving good news from Credit Suisse any day now, he had also just recieved his quarterly grant payment from Uni and much to his surprise they had paid him £750 more than he was expecting. 'Wow.'
Unfortunately the error was quickly picked up, ah well. Even more unfortunately, a previous error which Dave had not even realised was an error was picked up at the same time. Instead of £750 more than he expected, Dave would now have £750 less. 'Darn'
Enter Thursday.
On the way to hand in a cheque for £1500, Dave popped briefly into his office at Uni. After a bit of map searching and head scratching he eventually found the right department and handed it over. "Handed it over" here meaning had it pryed from his steal vice grip.
Easy come, Easy go. Dave headed for the comfort of home.
On reaching home he discovered he had left his keys in his office. 'Damn.'
He quickly yo-yoed back and forth once more and collapsed in front of his computer to check his emails.
Credit Suisse.
This was it. This day would finally be turning around...
"... Unfortunately, having reviewed the performance of all of our candidates being interviewed, we will not be progressing your application further at this time..."
...
'*%£*"$*"!!!!!!!!!'
But on the bright side it would be Monday again soon.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Credit Suisse. Part 1.
After several weeks of waiting, with each day reporting ever increasing numbers of redundencies, Dave had all but given up on his applications to various investment banks. It was clearly just not the right time to try.
One by one the replies came in. "We're sorry, but due to the high number of...", "No." "Nah dah." "Good Luck." Unfortunately, no surprises.
Until, on Thursday 27th Nov 2008, a ray of hope! Credit Suisse had offered him an interview for an internship starting June '09. "Would you be interested?" Dave almost snapped their hand off.
Tuesday 2nd Dec 2008, Dave headed down to London on the 8:15am train from Liverpool. He had hardly slept at all and the butterflies in his stomach refused to let him eat. He just about managed an apple and a few biscuits on the journey down south.
The interview process would start at 1pm. Dave arrived around 20 min early and was shown to a small room to axiously wait.
It was a nice enough room. Mostly green. Just big enough to fit the round table in it's center surrounded by 5 chairs and a small desk top in the corner on which rested tea and coffee facilities. One wall was taken up almost entirely by windows and Dave stared down from the 16th floor room on the city that may soon be his home.
Dave was not good at interviews. He had not eaten. He had not slept. He was a bag of nerves. The wait was killing him.
Finally, a little after 1pm, a man entered the room. Dave stood, shook his hand and the two knights of the round table sat down together to decide the fate of Camelot. The man started by introducing himself and his work, Dave asked some small questions but basically sat there like a nodding dog. Dave was then asked to briefly describe his PhD topic, which he did.
And then the fun started.
"Why do you want to work for Credit Suisse?"
"Give me an example you have worked well in a team?"
"What is your biggest weakness?"
etc, etc, etc, were all questions that Dave was NOT asked. In fact, other than the initial introduction, the entire interview was just a bunch of fun little mathematical puzzles.
"Simplify i^i"
"If I have two children and one of them is a girl, whats the probability the other one is a girl?"
etc etc etc
'Cool,' thought Dave. (For those that didn't know, people who do PhD's in mathematical topics tend to have a different view on the meaning of "cool".)
At two 2pm the first guy left. Dave poured himself a glass of water and waited for the second. Nerves? What nerves? He owned this room. At 3pm, he poured himself another glass and waited for the 3rd.
At 6pm he finally left the room with his 5th and final interviewer. All five interviews had been almost identical to the first. They had nearly all started with a brief introduction and the requirement of Dave to explain his PhD and then poured straight into mathematical games. Some had even asked him the same maths questions, though Dave had been honest/foolish enough to admit when this had happened instead of using it to obvious advantage.
He left Credit Suisse a little after 6pm. He caught two tubes back to Eusten with severe delays, arriving there around 7:30pm. With 45 minutes to wait for his train back home and his butterflies well and truely dead, it finally occured to Dave that breakfast might be a good idea.
When you haven't really eaten for nearly 24 hours, breakfast is glourious. The finest chicken salad subway known to man. Yummy.
With 30 minutes until his train back to Liverpool, Dave then went looking for dinner.
He arrived home a little after 11pm. Now all he could do was wait. If successful, he would soon be invited to another 5 hours of interviews down in London. Successful completion of that would get him an offer for a 10 week internship come June. Successful completion of that would get him a job offer starting in January 2010, just in time for the start of the next big financial bubble.
Fingers crossed.
One by one the replies came in. "We're sorry, but due to the high number of...", "No." "Nah dah." "Good Luck." Unfortunately, no surprises.
Until, on Thursday 27th Nov 2008, a ray of hope! Credit Suisse had offered him an interview for an internship starting June '09. "Would you be interested?" Dave almost snapped their hand off.
Tuesday 2nd Dec 2008, Dave headed down to London on the 8:15am train from Liverpool. He had hardly slept at all and the butterflies in his stomach refused to let him eat. He just about managed an apple and a few biscuits on the journey down south.
The interview process would start at 1pm. Dave arrived around 20 min early and was shown to a small room to axiously wait.
It was a nice enough room. Mostly green. Just big enough to fit the round table in it's center surrounded by 5 chairs and a small desk top in the corner on which rested tea and coffee facilities. One wall was taken up almost entirely by windows and Dave stared down from the 16th floor room on the city that may soon be his home.
Dave was not good at interviews. He had not eaten. He had not slept. He was a bag of nerves. The wait was killing him.
Finally, a little after 1pm, a man entered the room. Dave stood, shook his hand and the two knights of the round table sat down together to decide the fate of Camelot. The man started by introducing himself and his work, Dave asked some small questions but basically sat there like a nodding dog. Dave was then asked to briefly describe his PhD topic, which he did.
And then the fun started.
"Why do you want to work for Credit Suisse?"
"Give me an example you have worked well in a team?"
"What is your biggest weakness?"
etc, etc, etc, were all questions that Dave was NOT asked. In fact, other than the initial introduction, the entire interview was just a bunch of fun little mathematical puzzles.
"Simplify i^i"
"If I have two children and one of them is a girl, whats the probability the other one is a girl?"
etc etc etc
'Cool,' thought Dave. (For those that didn't know, people who do PhD's in mathematical topics tend to have a different view on the meaning of "cool".)
At two 2pm the first guy left. Dave poured himself a glass of water and waited for the second. Nerves? What nerves? He owned this room. At 3pm, he poured himself another glass and waited for the 3rd.
At 6pm he finally left the room with his 5th and final interviewer. All five interviews had been almost identical to the first. They had nearly all started with a brief introduction and the requirement of Dave to explain his PhD and then poured straight into mathematical games. Some had even asked him the same maths questions, though Dave had been honest/foolish enough to admit when this had happened instead of using it to obvious advantage.
He left Credit Suisse a little after 6pm. He caught two tubes back to Eusten with severe delays, arriving there around 7:30pm. With 45 minutes to wait for his train back home and his butterflies well and truely dead, it finally occured to Dave that breakfast might be a good idea.
When you haven't really eaten for nearly 24 hours, breakfast is glourious. The finest chicken salad subway known to man. Yummy.
With 30 minutes until his train back to Liverpool, Dave then went looking for dinner.
He arrived home a little after 11pm. Now all he could do was wait. If successful, he would soon be invited to another 5 hours of interviews down in London. Successful completion of that would get him an offer for a 10 week internship come June. Successful completion of that would get him a job offer starting in January 2010, just in time for the start of the next big financial bubble.
Fingers crossed.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Credit Crunch
Credit Cruch. Tumbling house prices. Downturn. Recession. A global finiancial turmoil the likes of which the world has never seen.
Like the majority of people, Dave's initial thought was
"Whoohoo!! I'll finally be able to aford a house!!!"
Unfortunately, much to Dave's and many others like him great astonishment, there is a dark side to the Credit Crunch.
It all started with subprime loans and mortgages in America. A "subprime" loan basically translates as a loan from a person you doubt will ever really pay you back. A high risk individual. So why oh why would a bank ever want to agree to give such a loan?
Simple. You sell the loan on to someone else. They take the risk, you keep a small profit. Repeat that enough and you a whopping big profit. No real risk. But why would someone want to buy it off you?
Simple. They sell the loan on to someone else. They pass on the risk, they keep a small profit. Repeat that enough and they get a whopping big profit. No real risk. But why would someone want to buy it off them?...
Pyramid scheme anyone?
Of cause, the banks are not, despite popular opinion and all the evidence, stupid. They realise someone has to be holding the loan if/when it finally fails. But they have safety nets in place. The loans are usually secured on a house. Loan fails, bank gets the house, sells it and makes the money back. But what happens when house prices drop and are no longer worth enough to cover the loan? Big risk and a loss. Repeat THAT enough times and it's a whopping big loss.
Unfortunately, it gets worse. See things like money and shares are funny old things. They're the fundamental building blocks of the world as we know it, and yet they rely purely on Faith. Money doesn't actually exist. It's a figment of our collective imagination. Shares are worth only what people want to pay for them. So when a bank makes a big loss, it can't just shrug it off, put it down to experience and move on, because it hasn't just lost money, it's lost the Faith of it's followers. That makes the bank worth less, lossing them more money, and in turn more Faith. If they can't perform a miracle, they may face a slippery slop.
Unfortunately, it gets even worse. You can make money from money you don't have. For example, if you get a 0% creddit card and buy everything using the card, then before you pay it back, the money you have technically already spent is sitting in the bank earning you money. Banks like these kind of games, so they borrow lots of money from other banks to try to make profit with it. They also lend out lots of their own money to earn interest on that. Whatever kind of opertunity comes along they call on their fellow rivals to help them out. Try not to think about where this money actually comes from, it'll make your head hurt. Just remember it's all not real anyway. But what happens when because you've lost the Faith of your followers, you also lose the Faith of your rivals?
Your source of cash gets cut off, your miracle becomes that much harder, your followers become less Faithful and the slippery slop looks that much slippier. And when THAT anoucement reaches the media, those Faithful that still had some hope or just hadn't yet noticed pull out while they still can. Game over.
But still not the end of the story. Because the Bank that just died did so in a classic "If I go down I'm taking you with me" manner. Chances are he still owed alot of his rivals ALOT of money, and they're never going to see that again. Which means whopping big losses for all of them. Which means loss of Faith from all their followers and from each other. And hey presto, Credit Crunch.
The only way the banks can get some money back is to increase interest on borrowing and sack all unnecessary staff. This steals money from the non-financial world, and the job loses spread.
So despite finally having the arrival of the glorious house price drop, harder mortgages and a lack of employment mean Dave and the others still don't have a house.
Damn.
Like the majority of people, Dave's initial thought was
"Whoohoo!! I'll finally be able to aford a house!!!"
Unfortunately, much to Dave's and many others like him great astonishment, there is a dark side to the Credit Crunch.
It all started with subprime loans and mortgages in America. A "subprime" loan basically translates as a loan from a person you doubt will ever really pay you back. A high risk individual. So why oh why would a bank ever want to agree to give such a loan?
Simple. You sell the loan on to someone else. They take the risk, you keep a small profit. Repeat that enough and you a whopping big profit. No real risk. But why would someone want to buy it off you?
Simple. They sell the loan on to someone else. They pass on the risk, they keep a small profit. Repeat that enough and they get a whopping big profit. No real risk. But why would someone want to buy it off them?...
Pyramid scheme anyone?
Of cause, the banks are not, despite popular opinion and all the evidence, stupid. They realise someone has to be holding the loan if/when it finally fails. But they have safety nets in place. The loans are usually secured on a house. Loan fails, bank gets the house, sells it and makes the money back. But what happens when house prices drop and are no longer worth enough to cover the loan? Big risk and a loss. Repeat THAT enough times and it's a whopping big loss.
Unfortunately, it gets worse. See things like money and shares are funny old things. They're the fundamental building blocks of the world as we know it, and yet they rely purely on Faith. Money doesn't actually exist. It's a figment of our collective imagination. Shares are worth only what people want to pay for them. So when a bank makes a big loss, it can't just shrug it off, put it down to experience and move on, because it hasn't just lost money, it's lost the Faith of it's followers. That makes the bank worth less, lossing them more money, and in turn more Faith. If they can't perform a miracle, they may face a slippery slop.
Unfortunately, it gets even worse. You can make money from money you don't have. For example, if you get a 0% creddit card and buy everything using the card, then before you pay it back, the money you have technically already spent is sitting in the bank earning you money. Banks like these kind of games, so they borrow lots of money from other banks to try to make profit with it. They also lend out lots of their own money to earn interest on that. Whatever kind of opertunity comes along they call on their fellow rivals to help them out. Try not to think about where this money actually comes from, it'll make your head hurt. Just remember it's all not real anyway. But what happens when because you've lost the Faith of your followers, you also lose the Faith of your rivals?
Your source of cash gets cut off, your miracle becomes that much harder, your followers become less Faithful and the slippery slop looks that much slippier. And when THAT anoucement reaches the media, those Faithful that still had some hope or just hadn't yet noticed pull out while they still can. Game over.
But still not the end of the story. Because the Bank that just died did so in a classic "If I go down I'm taking you with me" manner. Chances are he still owed alot of his rivals ALOT of money, and they're never going to see that again. Which means whopping big losses for all of them. Which means loss of Faith from all their followers and from each other. And hey presto, Credit Crunch.
The only way the banks can get some money back is to increase interest on borrowing and sack all unnecessary staff. This steals money from the non-financial world, and the job loses spread.
So despite finally having the arrival of the glorious house price drop, harder mortgages and a lack of employment mean Dave and the others still don't have a house.
Damn.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Good Old Bush
One of the world's least popular people, up there with terrorists, murderers and Brittney Spears, it's good Old Texas boy W. Bush.
Now, after the pounding McCain took just for kinda reminding people a little of Bush, one may imagine Bush would just sit quietly in a corner and wait to be taken out with the rest of the trash. But not good old Bush, nah, he's going down swinging.
His latest trick? "Bush 'seeks to ease wildlife law'"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7738933.stm
Apparently Bush has realised that digging for oil would be a lot more efficient if people didn't worry so much about petty little things like "a full scientific assessment as to the likely impact on the environment." Nope, if we worried a little less about that kind of thing we could dig in all kinds of new places and our energy problems would be over. So good old Bush is hoping to make that dream come true. Hurray for Bush!
Unfortunately, if he doesn't finish the paperwork by Friday, he won't have time to get it done before Obama kicks him out and we'll be stuck with this pesky "environment" of ours a little longer.
Darn.
Now, after the pounding McCain took just for kinda reminding people a little of Bush, one may imagine Bush would just sit quietly in a corner and wait to be taken out with the rest of the trash. But not good old Bush, nah, he's going down swinging.
His latest trick? "Bush 'seeks to ease wildlife law'"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7738933.stm
Apparently Bush has realised that digging for oil would be a lot more efficient if people didn't worry so much about petty little things like "a full scientific assessment as to the likely impact on the environment." Nope, if we worried a little less about that kind of thing we could dig in all kinds of new places and our energy problems would be over. So good old Bush is hoping to make that dream come true. Hurray for Bush!
Unfortunately, if he doesn't finish the paperwork by Friday, he won't have time to get it done before Obama kicks him out and we'll be stuck with this pesky "environment" of ours a little longer.
Darn.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Obama
November 4th 2008. A day to remember.
The US election was in full swing, the result of over 600 days and billions of dollars of campaigning boiled down to the last few hours. According to all the polls it was an open and shut case, Obama had it in the bag, and yet the world watched with bated breath.
Around 4 am in England, the result the world had waited for was finally announced. Obama would become the 44th president of America. Dave and the rest of the world gave a collective huge sigh of relief and an overwhelming jump for joy.
Obama seems to be the guy the world has waited for. An intelligent, logical guy who appears to focus on bringing peace and hope and has plans to comunicate with the rest of the world and work together for the greater global good. After 8 years of terror from Bush, it comes as welcomed news. How much of a change Obama can bring only time will tell.
"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term, but America - I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you - we as a people will get there.
There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree."
The election of Obama was a turning point in history not only because it marked the toppling of the statue of Bush. For those who haven't heard, Obama is the first black president of the USA.
"Rosa sat so Martin could walk, Martin walked so Obama could run, Obama ran so our children could fly."
Rosa Parks was a black lady who refused to stand for a white passenger on a bus in Alabama. At the time that was a big deal. A very big deal.
What's difficult for a kid born in the 80's with Greek father, English Mother, Chinese wife and friends of all races and sexualities to fully comprehend is that that time was as recent as 1955. Just 53 years ago.
From subhuman to worlds most powerful postion within living memory, Obama really has changed the world. Martin dreamed of a world where man would be judged on character alone and not the colour of his skin. The election of Obama has seen a huge step in the right direction and renewed faith in America and the world that Martin's dream will become a reality.
Only two things dampen the spirit of Obama's election. The two sheets of bullet proof glass present at Obama's acceptance speech. A painful reminder that although we can now see the promised land, perhaps we're not quite there. Obama will still be judged by the colour of his skin. Whatever he does, good or bad, he does as a black president.
But "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. "
The dream is alive and kicking.
The US election was in full swing, the result of over 600 days and billions of dollars of campaigning boiled down to the last few hours. According to all the polls it was an open and shut case, Obama had it in the bag, and yet the world watched with bated breath.
Around 4 am in England, the result the world had waited for was finally announced. Obama would become the 44th president of America. Dave and the rest of the world gave a collective huge sigh of relief and an overwhelming jump for joy.
Obama seems to be the guy the world has waited for. An intelligent, logical guy who appears to focus on bringing peace and hope and has plans to comunicate with the rest of the world and work together for the greater global good. After 8 years of terror from Bush, it comes as welcomed news. How much of a change Obama can bring only time will tell.
"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term, but America - I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you - we as a people will get there.
There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree."
The election of Obama was a turning point in history not only because it marked the toppling of the statue of Bush. For those who haven't heard, Obama is the first black president of the USA.
"Rosa sat so Martin could walk, Martin walked so Obama could run, Obama ran so our children could fly."
Rosa Parks was a black lady who refused to stand for a white passenger on a bus in Alabama. At the time that was a big deal. A very big deal.
What's difficult for a kid born in the 80's with Greek father, English Mother, Chinese wife and friends of all races and sexualities to fully comprehend is that that time was as recent as 1955. Just 53 years ago.
From subhuman to worlds most powerful postion within living memory, Obama really has changed the world. Martin dreamed of a world where man would be judged on character alone and not the colour of his skin. The election of Obama has seen a huge step in the right direction and renewed faith in America and the world that Martin's dream will become a reality.
Only two things dampen the spirit of Obama's election. The two sheets of bullet proof glass present at Obama's acceptance speech. A painful reminder that although we can now see the promised land, perhaps we're not quite there. Obama will still be judged by the colour of his skin. Whatever he does, good or bad, he does as a black president.
But "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. "
The dream is alive and kicking.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
MTV Awards
Dave had been offered the chance of a life time. The MTV awards were coming to his home town of Liverpool and Helen and Andy had 3 extra tickets. Would he like to go? He quickly weighed up the pros and cons.
Pros:
-Live performances of a few good songs.
Cons:
-The tickets cost £65 each.
-Award ceremonies are generally very boring.
-Britney Spears would be there.
-Amy Winehouse would be there.
It really was a no-brainer, Dave respectfully declined. Jean however had clearly miscounted the number of pros and cons and decided to snap up the offer.
Andy and Helen placed the remaining two tickets on ebay. They sold for around £600 each.
".. £600..?!?!..."
Jean suddenly felt more than a little guilty for taking the ticket. She tried to convince Andy and Helen to sell her one as well, but they had agreed to take her and were true to their word, even knowing they would be £535 better off if they left her behind. A greatly respectable couple. All Jean could do now was go and enjoy herself.
None of it made much sense to Dave.
"Seriously? £600? They know Britney Spears will be there right?"
Pros:
-Live performances of a few good songs.
Cons:
-The tickets cost £65 each.
-Award ceremonies are generally very boring.
-Britney Spears would be there.
-Amy Winehouse would be there.
It really was a no-brainer, Dave respectfully declined. Jean however had clearly miscounted the number of pros and cons and decided to snap up the offer.
Andy and Helen placed the remaining two tickets on ebay. They sold for around £600 each.
".. £600..?!?!..."
Jean suddenly felt more than a little guilty for taking the ticket. She tried to convince Andy and Helen to sell her one as well, but they had agreed to take her and were true to their word, even knowing they would be £535 better off if they left her behind. A greatly respectable couple. All Jean could do now was go and enjoy herself.
None of it made much sense to Dave.
"Seriously? £600? They know Britney Spears will be there right?"
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Penguins
Dave and Jean sat and watched a documentry about the birthing process of various animals, namely Shark, Kangaroo, a type of Wasp and the Emperor Penguin.
The female Shark is brutally gang raped by a bunch of males, several of which can all result in pregnancy. In some types of Shark, survival of the fittest begins before birth. The strongest baby will kill and eat the other babies inside the womb. Seriously.
The Kangaroo is an odd little animal. Long before the baby is ready to be born, when it is still just a red little thing with two tiny arms and no legs, it crawls out of one of it's mum's holes, across the fur and into another, where it stays nice and safe in the pouch. When it's finally developed better, it will start it's life by popping in and out of it's mum for a few weeks.
The Wasp is incredibly evil. It injects it's kids into a catipillar, along with it's own unique virus, which basically takes over the catipillar's mind and body. The catipillar can no longer reproduce and lives only to serve it's new hosts. It's eats and eats and eats to provide the needed nutrients. When the kids are ready, they eat they're way out of the catipillar, but he doesn't die straight away. The final insult to him is that the virus effects it's brain so that it protects these things that have just ripped him apart as if they were his own kids, until he dies and they are big enough to fend for themselves.
The Penguin is simply incredible. They are the ultimate in selflessness. After the egg is produced, the male looks after it while the female goes to hunt. The males are willing to go without food for months with the egg balanced on their feet to keep it warm. As a group, the penguins huddle together and take turns as to who should be on the cold outside of the group. They all work perfectly and peacefully together for the greater good.
Dave couldn't help but wonder what the world would be like if humanity had evolved from Penguin instead of Monkey. If our vast knowledge and abilities were all combined freely for the benefit of all, rather than the personal satisfaction of the few.
Maybe after we've destroyed ourselves, the Penguin Empire, led peacefully by the Emperor Penguin, will put right what once went wrong.
(Hi Penguins. By the time u read this I will be gone. Assuming ur advanced enough to bring people back, I voted for u guys first. I'll be a good Monkey, I promise.)
The female Shark is brutally gang raped by a bunch of males, several of which can all result in pregnancy. In some types of Shark, survival of the fittest begins before birth. The strongest baby will kill and eat the other babies inside the womb. Seriously.
The Kangaroo is an odd little animal. Long before the baby is ready to be born, when it is still just a red little thing with two tiny arms and no legs, it crawls out of one of it's mum's holes, across the fur and into another, where it stays nice and safe in the pouch. When it's finally developed better, it will start it's life by popping in and out of it's mum for a few weeks.
The Wasp is incredibly evil. It injects it's kids into a catipillar, along with it's own unique virus, which basically takes over the catipillar's mind and body. The catipillar can no longer reproduce and lives only to serve it's new hosts. It's eats and eats and eats to provide the needed nutrients. When the kids are ready, they eat they're way out of the catipillar, but he doesn't die straight away. The final insult to him is that the virus effects it's brain so that it protects these things that have just ripped him apart as if they were his own kids, until he dies and they are big enough to fend for themselves.
The Penguin is simply incredible. They are the ultimate in selflessness. After the egg is produced, the male looks after it while the female goes to hunt. The males are willing to go without food for months with the egg balanced on their feet to keep it warm. As a group, the penguins huddle together and take turns as to who should be on the cold outside of the group. They all work perfectly and peacefully together for the greater good.
Dave couldn't help but wonder what the world would be like if humanity had evolved from Penguin instead of Monkey. If our vast knowledge and abilities were all combined freely for the benefit of all, rather than the personal satisfaction of the few.
Maybe after we've destroyed ourselves, the Penguin Empire, led peacefully by the Emperor Penguin, will put right what once went wrong.
(Hi Penguins. By the time u read this I will be gone. Assuming ur advanced enough to bring people back, I voted for u guys first. I'll be a good Monkey, I promise.)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Snippets.
Two months, 1 week down, 2 day to go. Dave had done it. He had survived. Anyone who had betted against him had lost out, against all the odds.
Jean would be home Tuesday.
The weeks and months that had felt like years and decades faded away into a foggy Thesis filled dream, with the occasional sprinkling of chocolate drops. Dave liked chocolate drops.
…
Ruth was getting excited. She would give birth any day now! Whoohoo!
…
“Hi Samuel,”
“Hey Monkey! How are you? Are you eating OK…?”
…
“Hi Bian,”
“Hey Monkey! How are you? Are you eating OK…?”
…
“Hi Xiong,”
“Hey Monkey! How are you? Are you eating OK…?”
…
Good old Jumbo Chinese restaurant. Great food with even better company, what more could Dave ask for? He stuffed his face in a somewhat hamster type manner to keep him going for the coming weeks. Huge thanks to Xiong and Re.
…
“Hey Monkey! Yao bu yao chi fan le?”
“Yao! Xie xie, Re!”
…
Tai Pan Chinese restaurant. Great food with even better company, AGAIN! Dave must have done something right in a past life. He refilled his face back to bursting point to keep him going for the coming weeks. Another huge thanks to Xiong and Re.
…
“Hi Xiong,”
“Hey Monkey! How are you? Are you eating OK…?”
…
Xiong is a great cook. Thanks again.
…
…“Scrubs without JD?” asked Mac, “That’s going to suck…”
…
…Dave lay there with his blood slowly trickling away. Boy he hated needles, but to save a life it was a small price to pay.
The nurse started fidgeting with it.
`Ow,’ thought Dave.
The needle had dislodged slightly and the nurse had apparently decided to just nudge it back in. Eventually she gave up and settled for a half pint.
…
… “Do you still give blood?” asked Mac.
“Yup, gave blood just last week.”
“The next time your there, do me a favour, sign up to give bone marrow.”
“Doesn’t that hurt?”
“It’s pretty much the same as giving blood, it just takes longer”
`Hmm…,’ thought Dave, `.. is that true or is Mac just finally trying to get me back for all those times I almost killed him during chemistry experiments…’
…
… Baldy’s Blog : http://baldyblog.freshblogs.co.uk
Turns out Mac had been 100% right. Not often that happened.
Not only was bone marrow donation free of pain, it saved lives and could get you a day off work. He was also right about Adrian being a fantastic guy.
…
Late for work, Dave hurriedly completed the bone marrow list registration form.
`Wow that’s a lot of ways to ask me if I’m healthy…’
Now all they required was a small blood sample and Dave wouldn’t hear from them again unless required to save a life.
`Come on, just stick it in me, be quick, get it over with’
Dave suddenly had an insight into how Jean felt…
…
…“Smallville without Lex?” asked Mac, “That’s going to suck…”
…
Ste was nervous. Really nervous.
The next few moments could completely change his entire future. If everything didn’t go absolutely perfect he would regret it for many, many years to come.
Thankfully it all worked out perfectly. Exactly as he had planned it!
Liverpool scored and won the match!!!
“Oh, by the way, Cheryl, wanna get married?”
“Yeah OK,”
“Cool.”
Congratulations to the happy couple.
…
Hadleigh was sweating. This was it. The big day.
`Gosh darn it,’ he thought to himself, `Dave was right, I should have put some Weird Al songs on the music CD.’
Luckily the event still went perfectly and Hadleigh Wilks became one half of Mr and Mrs Drake.
Congratulations to the happy couple.
…
Thousands upon thousands of people walking up and down on a field in the rain. The V-festival rather quickly became a vast field of mud.
Thousands upon thousands of people walked around carefully, seeing slimy dirt and an accident waiting to happen.
Alan was different. Alan was special.
Alan, and about 10 of the other people there, saw a giant mosh pit, filled with all the joys a mud wrestle can bring.
You can take the man out of the Krazy House, but you can’t take the Krazy House out of the man.
Thousands upon thousands of people just stood there and stared.
…
Home made pizza, delights from Turkey (not to be confused with Turkish delights), Japanese film about ping pong (called `Ping Pong’) and a south Korean film about a monster squid/fish/thing (`The Host’). What more could anyone ask for?
Ping Pong was a quality film. About two kids called `Peco’ and `Smile’ (because he never does). Peco, best little ping pong star around, looks out for Smile when other kids try to pick on him, and Smile comes to idolise him.
Growing up, Peco’s gift at ping pong makes him cocky and lazy, whilst Smile’s kind nature and semi-worship of Peco holds him back from playing at his true potential for fear of outshining Peco. Funny and thought provoking, a quality film.
“I don’t want to play him!!! I don’t stand a chance! He’s Chinese!!!”
“Not ALL Chinese are good at Ping Pong!”
“Really?”
“Yes, just like some black people can’t dance. And some Germans don’t like beer.”
“Yeah. OK! I can do this!!”
21-0 to China.
The Host had everything you could ask for from a monster flick. Funny family, heart filled moments, evil Americans and a monster that you actually get to see from start to finish created by said evil Americans pouring toxic chemicals down the drain, just for kicks and giggles.
The film centres around a somewhat crazy family. Granddad runs a small food stand with `help’ from lazy son and cute little granddaughter. Not surprisingly the son is a terrible father, giving his girl a beer and sending her drunken uncle to parents nights. But his heart is generally in the right place. They sit off and watch her Aunt in an archery contest on TV.
Enter Squiddy. In broad day light. In clear view. Finally a film that u actually get to see the monster.
Squiddy goes berserk, smashes things up, eats some people, the usual. It catches the little girl and flees. Granddad, Lazy Dad, Drunken Uncle and Archer Aunt are heartbroken. Their tears are paused only to hurl abuse at each other. To add salt to their wounds, evil Americans have decided they must all be quarantined and tested on.
And then, in the dead of night, a ray of hope. A phone call from the little girl. She’s still alive! Well come on, they wouldn’t really kill off a cute innocent little girl… would they? Only problem is, no one will believe the phone call happened. They think Lazy Dad has just gone crazy. And so the family must put aside their differences, break out of quarantine (much easier than u may think) and find the girl themselves.
…
“I like that,” said Oyku. It was a 3 dimensional `picture’ of a jacket on Freddie’s wall.
“Yeah,” said Nathan, “I’m wondering if it was suppose to be art, or Freddie just didn’t clean his clothes for a very long time… I think Freddie’s mum is an artist, maybe she made it.”
“I think both Freddie’s parents are arty,” said Dave, “Freddie turned to Mathematics to rebel.”
…
`Any day now,’ thought Ruth, `..any day now…’
…
A big thank you to everyone who took part in the “Keep Dave Sane” project while Jean was away. Although the overall result was a failure and Dave has officially been declared nuttier than a bag of peanuts, it still turned out a lot better than any of us could have hoped.
Now go see Baldy’s blog and stick your name on that bone marrow list. http://baldyblog.freshblogs.co.uk .
Thanks guys.
Jean would be home Tuesday.
The weeks and months that had felt like years and decades faded away into a foggy Thesis filled dream, with the occasional sprinkling of chocolate drops. Dave liked chocolate drops.
…
Ruth was getting excited. She would give birth any day now! Whoohoo!
…
“Hi Samuel,”
“Hey Monkey! How are you? Are you eating OK…?”
…
“Hi Bian,”
“Hey Monkey! How are you? Are you eating OK…?”
…
“Hi Xiong,”
“Hey Monkey! How are you? Are you eating OK…?”
…
Good old Jumbo Chinese restaurant. Great food with even better company, what more could Dave ask for? He stuffed his face in a somewhat hamster type manner to keep him going for the coming weeks. Huge thanks to Xiong and Re.
…
“Hey Monkey! Yao bu yao chi fan le?”
“Yao! Xie xie, Re!”
…
Tai Pan Chinese restaurant. Great food with even better company, AGAIN! Dave must have done something right in a past life. He refilled his face back to bursting point to keep him going for the coming weeks. Another huge thanks to Xiong and Re.
…
“Hi Xiong,”
“Hey Monkey! How are you? Are you eating OK…?”
…
Xiong is a great cook. Thanks again.
…
…“Scrubs without JD?” asked Mac, “That’s going to suck…”
…
…Dave lay there with his blood slowly trickling away. Boy he hated needles, but to save a life it was a small price to pay.
The nurse started fidgeting with it.
`Ow,’ thought Dave.
The needle had dislodged slightly and the nurse had apparently decided to just nudge it back in. Eventually she gave up and settled for a half pint.
…
… “Do you still give blood?” asked Mac.
“Yup, gave blood just last week.”
“The next time your there, do me a favour, sign up to give bone marrow.”
“Doesn’t that hurt?”
“It’s pretty much the same as giving blood, it just takes longer”
`Hmm…,’ thought Dave, `.. is that true or is Mac just finally trying to get me back for all those times I almost killed him during chemistry experiments…’
…
… Baldy’s Blog : http://baldyblog.freshblogs.co.uk
Turns out Mac had been 100% right. Not often that happened.
Not only was bone marrow donation free of pain, it saved lives and could get you a day off work. He was also right about Adrian being a fantastic guy.
…
Late for work, Dave hurriedly completed the bone marrow list registration form.
`Wow that’s a lot of ways to ask me if I’m healthy…’
Now all they required was a small blood sample and Dave wouldn’t hear from them again unless required to save a life.
`Come on, just stick it in me, be quick, get it over with’
Dave suddenly had an insight into how Jean felt…
…
…“Smallville without Lex?” asked Mac, “That’s going to suck…”
…
Ste was nervous. Really nervous.
The next few moments could completely change his entire future. If everything didn’t go absolutely perfect he would regret it for many, many years to come.
Thankfully it all worked out perfectly. Exactly as he had planned it!
Liverpool scored and won the match!!!
“Oh, by the way, Cheryl, wanna get married?”
“Yeah OK,”
“Cool.”
Congratulations to the happy couple.
…
Hadleigh was sweating. This was it. The big day.
`Gosh darn it,’ he thought to himself, `Dave was right, I should have put some Weird Al songs on the music CD.’
Luckily the event still went perfectly and Hadleigh Wilks became one half of Mr and Mrs Drake.
Congratulations to the happy couple.
…
Thousands upon thousands of people walking up and down on a field in the rain. The V-festival rather quickly became a vast field of mud.
Thousands upon thousands of people walked around carefully, seeing slimy dirt and an accident waiting to happen.
Alan was different. Alan was special.
Alan, and about 10 of the other people there, saw a giant mosh pit, filled with all the joys a mud wrestle can bring.
You can take the man out of the Krazy House, but you can’t take the Krazy House out of the man.
Thousands upon thousands of people just stood there and stared.
…
Home made pizza, delights from Turkey (not to be confused with Turkish delights), Japanese film about ping pong (called `Ping Pong’) and a south Korean film about a monster squid/fish/thing (`The Host’). What more could anyone ask for?
Ping Pong was a quality film. About two kids called `Peco’ and `Smile’ (because he never does). Peco, best little ping pong star around, looks out for Smile when other kids try to pick on him, and Smile comes to idolise him.
Growing up, Peco’s gift at ping pong makes him cocky and lazy, whilst Smile’s kind nature and semi-worship of Peco holds him back from playing at his true potential for fear of outshining Peco. Funny and thought provoking, a quality film.
“I don’t want to play him!!! I don’t stand a chance! He’s Chinese!!!”
“Not ALL Chinese are good at Ping Pong!”
“Really?”
“Yes, just like some black people can’t dance. And some Germans don’t like beer.”
“Yeah. OK! I can do this!!”
21-0 to China.
The Host had everything you could ask for from a monster flick. Funny family, heart filled moments, evil Americans and a monster that you actually get to see from start to finish created by said evil Americans pouring toxic chemicals down the drain, just for kicks and giggles.
The film centres around a somewhat crazy family. Granddad runs a small food stand with `help’ from lazy son and cute little granddaughter. Not surprisingly the son is a terrible father, giving his girl a beer and sending her drunken uncle to parents nights. But his heart is generally in the right place. They sit off and watch her Aunt in an archery contest on TV.
Enter Squiddy. In broad day light. In clear view. Finally a film that u actually get to see the monster.
Squiddy goes berserk, smashes things up, eats some people, the usual. It catches the little girl and flees. Granddad, Lazy Dad, Drunken Uncle and Archer Aunt are heartbroken. Their tears are paused only to hurl abuse at each other. To add salt to their wounds, evil Americans have decided they must all be quarantined and tested on.
And then, in the dead of night, a ray of hope. A phone call from the little girl. She’s still alive! Well come on, they wouldn’t really kill off a cute innocent little girl… would they? Only problem is, no one will believe the phone call happened. They think Lazy Dad has just gone crazy. And so the family must put aside their differences, break out of quarantine (much easier than u may think) and find the girl themselves.
…
“I like that,” said Oyku. It was a 3 dimensional `picture’ of a jacket on Freddie’s wall.
“Yeah,” said Nathan, “I’m wondering if it was suppose to be art, or Freddie just didn’t clean his clothes for a very long time… I think Freddie’s mum is an artist, maybe she made it.”
“I think both Freddie’s parents are arty,” said Dave, “Freddie turned to Mathematics to rebel.”
…
`Any day now,’ thought Ruth, `..any day now…’
…
A big thank you to everyone who took part in the “Keep Dave Sane” project while Jean was away. Although the overall result was a failure and Dave has officially been declared nuttier than a bag of peanuts, it still turned out a lot better than any of us could have hoped.
Now go see Baldy’s blog and stick your name on that bone marrow list. http://baldyblog.freshblogs.co.uk .
Thanks guys.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Baldy's Blog
Adrian Sudbury was an amazing young man. In the words of his blog: He "had been a reporter for both the Huddersfield Express and Chronicle Series and the Huddersfield Examiner. In November 2006 the 25-year-old was promoted to digital journalist, effectively editing the new-look Examiner website. Just two days into his new role he became seriously ill and called in sick. A week later he drove himself to A&E and was eventually diagnosed with leukaemia. It was then identified that he actually has two distinct types of the disease running at the same time. According to the medical literature he is the only person in the world to have this condition."
Despite the unenviable situation he found himself in, he kept himself and those around him positive.
-"Needless to say being diagnosed with two types of leukaemia was a bit of a blow yet bizarrely my ego was purring at potentially being a sort of 'world first'. If only it had been in something slightly less life threatening."
Unfortunately, his condition went from bad to worst. A bone marrow transplant failed to rid him of the disease and began giving him additional complications when the donors cells started attacking his own. He was told in May 2008 he had weeks/months to live.
-"For new readers to this blog I sometimes wonder if you think I am making this shite up. My life has gone crazy and seems to derail spectacularly every seven to 12 days.
I wish I was making all this up. I promise you, up until l was 25 I had a fairly steady existence which included a girlfriend, going to work, going out and playing football once a week with colleagues.
Now I'm like a character in Hollyoaks, just slightly less attractive."
Despite this, he wanted it noted that without any treatment, without blood and bone marrow transfusions, he would have died back in late 06/early 07. He never stopped thanking his annomous bone marrow donor from Germany and the countless blood donors he required during treatment. He was appalled to discover 16,000 patients requiring bone marrow are currently dying without being given that chance because a matching donor hasn't been found. He was shocked to learn the process of donating bone marrow is far easier than most people realise, himself included, and disgusted by the thought that if only more people knew that, maybe those 16,000 people would have a fighting chance.
"What would you say if I said stem cell donation differed little from giving blood?
You'd probably say something like, "Shut up Sudders, I'm tired of your online cancer whinging, and if I was a bone marrow donor someone would need to smash my spine."
I have a degree in Physiology, have spent five months in and out of a haematology ward, and I'm still staggered that I have only learnt what stem cell donation is really like.
There is a huge amount of confusion on the issue. I used to give blood but never thought about donating stem cells because I thought there was a slight risk of paralysis.
The reality is very different."
In his last months he devoted himself to helping others. He began a campaign which successfully got the government in the UK to agree to educate all 14/15 year olds and the majority of 17/18 year olds into what donation actually involves, how simple the process is and how it can and does save lives. He had interviews with Gordon Brown, spoke on international TV with audiences of over 170 million, was regularly on Radio and his blog won several awards for being simply outstanding. His blog is now also being turned into a book.
Please check out his blog: http://baldyblog.freshblogs.co.uk
Adrian passed away August 20th 2008. Even towards the end he remained filled with overwhelming positive energy. An inspiration to us all.
"As I keep saying - don't feel sorry for me. I'm having a blast."
Despite the unenviable situation he found himself in, he kept himself and those around him positive.
-"Needless to say being diagnosed with two types of leukaemia was a bit of a blow yet bizarrely my ego was purring at potentially being a sort of 'world first'. If only it had been in something slightly less life threatening."
Unfortunately, his condition went from bad to worst. A bone marrow transplant failed to rid him of the disease and began giving him additional complications when the donors cells started attacking his own. He was told in May 2008 he had weeks/months to live.
-"For new readers to this blog I sometimes wonder if you think I am making this shite up. My life has gone crazy and seems to derail spectacularly every seven to 12 days.
I wish I was making all this up. I promise you, up until l was 25 I had a fairly steady existence which included a girlfriend, going to work, going out and playing football once a week with colleagues.
Now I'm like a character in Hollyoaks, just slightly less attractive."
Despite this, he wanted it noted that without any treatment, without blood and bone marrow transfusions, he would have died back in late 06/early 07. He never stopped thanking his annomous bone marrow donor from Germany and the countless blood donors he required during treatment. He was appalled to discover 16,000 patients requiring bone marrow are currently dying without being given that chance because a matching donor hasn't been found. He was shocked to learn the process of donating bone marrow is far easier than most people realise, himself included, and disgusted by the thought that if only more people knew that, maybe those 16,000 people would have a fighting chance.
"What would you say if I said stem cell donation differed little from giving blood?
You'd probably say something like, "Shut up Sudders, I'm tired of your online cancer whinging, and if I was a bone marrow donor someone would need to smash my spine."
I have a degree in Physiology, have spent five months in and out of a haematology ward, and I'm still staggered that I have only learnt what stem cell donation is really like.
There is a huge amount of confusion on the issue. I used to give blood but never thought about donating stem cells because I thought there was a slight risk of paralysis.
The reality is very different."
In his last months he devoted himself to helping others. He began a campaign which successfully got the government in the UK to agree to educate all 14/15 year olds and the majority of 17/18 year olds into what donation actually involves, how simple the process is and how it can and does save lives. He had interviews with Gordon Brown, spoke on international TV with audiences of over 170 million, was regularly on Radio and his blog won several awards for being simply outstanding. His blog is now also being turned into a book.
Please check out his blog: http://baldyblog.freshblogs.co.uk
Adrian passed away August 20th 2008. Even towards the end he remained filled with overwhelming positive energy. An inspiration to us all.
"As I keep saying - don't feel sorry for me. I'm having a blast."
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Olympics Final Score
Well the Olympics is over for another 4 years and everyone wants to know the final score. Who won? How did there country do?
Well it's not always a straight forward answer.
In terms of gold medals, the ranking is:
1. China - 51
2. USA - 36
3. Russia - 23
4. UK - 19
Well done China. However, in terms of total medals, the ranking changes:
1.USA - 110
2.China - 100
3. Russia - 72
4. UK - 47
Unsurprisingly, our good old cousins from across the pond prefer this method of scoring. But everyone knows not all medals are equal and it's crazy to score them as if they were. The simple example of gold = 3 points, silver =2 and bronze = 1 gives:
1. China - 246
2. USA - 220
3. Russia - 134
4. UK - 102
Slightly fairer, but it still doesn't take into account the real attitudes towards medals.
Here, for the first time in Olympic history, the new undisputedly perfectly fair method of medal scoring is unveiled.
Golds:
The first 10 gold medals are fantastic and thus worth 6 points each
The next 10 gold medals are great but nothing new and thus worth 2 points each.
Anything after 20 is unnessary and thus not scored.
Silvers:
The first 10 are OK and worth 1 point each.
The next 5 become painful, "so close to gold" and thus result in the lose of a point for each
Anything after 15 is really painful and thus loses 2 points each.
Bronze:
The first 10 aren't noticed.
The second 10 are OK, "at least we got a medal", 1 point each.
Anything after 20 aren't noticed.
Much research into the attitudes of both spectators and atheletes shows this scoring is 100% accurate and has, at time of writing, never been argued with by anyone ever. In addition this system has the added benefit of having a maximum score of 100.
Taking this to be the unquestionable true scoring system then, the final ranking for the 2008 Beijing Olympics is:
1. UK - 88
2. China - 83
2. Russia - 83
...
10. USA - 49
Congradulations to the UK, worlds greatest. Well done to China and Russia, good efforts, very close. USA? 10th? Poor performance, better luck in London.
Well it's not always a straight forward answer.
In terms of gold medals, the ranking is:
1. China - 51
2. USA - 36
3. Russia - 23
4. UK - 19
Well done China. However, in terms of total medals, the ranking changes:
1.USA - 110
2.China - 100
3. Russia - 72
4. UK - 47
Unsurprisingly, our good old cousins from across the pond prefer this method of scoring. But everyone knows not all medals are equal and it's crazy to score them as if they were. The simple example of gold = 3 points, silver =2 and bronze = 1 gives:
1. China - 246
2. USA - 220
3. Russia - 134
4. UK - 102
Slightly fairer, but it still doesn't take into account the real attitudes towards medals.
Here, for the first time in Olympic history, the new undisputedly perfectly fair method of medal scoring is unveiled.
Golds:
The first 10 gold medals are fantastic and thus worth 6 points each
The next 10 gold medals are great but nothing new and thus worth 2 points each.
Anything after 20 is unnessary and thus not scored.
Silvers:
The first 10 are OK and worth 1 point each.
The next 5 become painful, "so close to gold" and thus result in the lose of a point for each
Anything after 15 is really painful and thus loses 2 points each.
Bronze:
The first 10 aren't noticed.
The second 10 are OK, "at least we got a medal", 1 point each.
Anything after 20 aren't noticed.
Much research into the attitudes of both spectators and atheletes shows this scoring is 100% accurate and has, at time of writing, never been argued with by anyone ever. In addition this system has the added benefit of having a maximum score of 100.
Taking this to be the unquestionable true scoring system then, the final ranking for the 2008 Beijing Olympics is:
1. UK - 88
2. China - 83
2. Russia - 83
...
10. USA - 49
Congradulations to the UK, worlds greatest. Well done to China and Russia, good efforts, very close. USA? 10th? Poor performance, better luck in London.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Another Day
*Brrriiinggg* *Brriiiinnng*
"..urgh..."
*Brrriiinggg* *Brriiiinnng*
Jean fumbled her arm out of bed and across the desk to grab her phone. Asking Dave to wake her up early had seemed like such a good idea last night. Would allow her to get the hotel breakfast. Well it had worked, but she hadn't slept enough to compensate for a day that had been exhaustingly great. A day simply wasn't designed long enough for so much stuff.
Jean staggered off for complementary hotel food. Breakfast consisted of a wide variety of things, none of which was cereal, which she consumed in the front of her lovely hotel restaurant.
After breakfast she went to play. Her and her friend went to tour the beautiful Sanya. An hour in she visited a very relaxing spar. One of the treatments on offer involved sitting in a pool full of little fish and letting them nibble at her dead skin. She found it oddly enjoyable.
Returning to the streets, they checked out the local beaches and decided to go diving. Then she went down into water, playing around with all the little amazingly coloured fish.
They went off to buy some more food. Limitless veg, meat, fish and oysters fresh from the source. Yum. They ate at a restaurant in front of the sea, watching the waves.
Eventually returning to the hotel, they switched on the TV and got down to some great programmes. A little later her Dave called, they chatted together while she carried on watching the TV, although at a much reduced concentration.
Finally exhausted, she set Dave the task of being her alarm. Despite being placed as far away from her bed as he could be, he still had his uses. In fact, if he were with her, she would probably just wack him and go back to sleep. Then she finally went to bed.
*Snorr*
Note, for other days, activities varied greatly, including jetskiing, shoe shopping, visting aquariums and pleanty more great food.
Two weeks down, two months to go.
Back to the beach.
"..urgh..."
*Brrriiinggg* *Brriiiinnng*
Jean fumbled her arm out of bed and across the desk to grab her phone. Asking Dave to wake her up early had seemed like such a good idea last night. Would allow her to get the hotel breakfast. Well it had worked, but she hadn't slept enough to compensate for a day that had been exhaustingly great. A day simply wasn't designed long enough for so much stuff.
Jean staggered off for complementary hotel food. Breakfast consisted of a wide variety of things, none of which was cereal, which she consumed in the front of her lovely hotel restaurant.
After breakfast she went to play. Her and her friend went to tour the beautiful Sanya. An hour in she visited a very relaxing spar. One of the treatments on offer involved sitting in a pool full of little fish and letting them nibble at her dead skin. She found it oddly enjoyable.
Returning to the streets, they checked out the local beaches and decided to go diving. Then she went down into water, playing around with all the little amazingly coloured fish.
They went off to buy some more food. Limitless veg, meat, fish and oysters fresh from the source. Yum. They ate at a restaurant in front of the sea, watching the waves.
Eventually returning to the hotel, they switched on the TV and got down to some great programmes. A little later her Dave called, they chatted together while she carried on watching the TV, although at a much reduced concentration.
Finally exhausted, she set Dave the task of being her alarm. Despite being placed as far away from her bed as he could be, he still had his uses. In fact, if he were with her, she would probably just wack him and go back to sleep. Then she finally went to bed.
*Snorr*
Note, for other days, activities varied greatly, including jetskiing, shoe shopping, visting aquariums and pleanty more great food.
Two weeks down, two months to go.
Back to the beach.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Day 1.
*Brrriiinggg* *Brriiiinnng*
"..urgh..."
*Brrriiinggg* *Brriiiinnng*
Dave stumbled out of bed and across the room to hit the alarm clock. Placing the alarm so far away had seemed like such a good idea last night. Would have to get him up. Well it had worked, but he hadn't slept well at all and now he didn't feel all that great. A double bed simply wasn't designed for single use. It became cold, empty and lonely.
Dave staggered off to hunt for food. Breakfast consisted of 4 Weetabix with some dried mixed fruit, which he consumed in front of the computer whilst checking emails aka deleting spam.
After breakfast he went to play on his Wii Fit. Started off with some lighter stepping exercises, moving on to workouts. An hour later he had a very much needed shower.
He returned to his computer, checked emails (more spam deleting) and opened up his file labelled "thesis". Then he got down to some hard work, stopping only every few minutes when MSN let him know he had some more spam to delete.
Around 4pm he went off to make some more food. Some veg, shallow boiled (like shallow frying, but replacing the oil with water), with added oyster source. Yum. He ate in front of the TV, despite nothing worth watching being on, then went off to work at his door to door job for the Echo.
Having failed to convince even a single person to sign up to have the Echo delivered, Dave returned home at around 9pm. Cooked himself a fried egg-tomotoe-mince meat meal, with added oyster source and ate in front of the TV, despite nothing worth watching being on. He then washed the dishes and retired upstairs.
Parking himself once more in front of the computer, he deleted spam, opened up his file "thesis" and got down to work. Around 11 his mind started to wonder a little, but he argued with himself and carried on for another 2 hours, although at a much reduced efficiency.
Finally exhausted, he set his alarm and placed it as far away from the bed as he could. Otherwise he would just wack it and go back to sleep. Then he finally went to bed.
... where he found he could not sleep... a double bed simply wasn't designed for single use... it became cold... empty... lonely.
Note, for day 2 onwards, simply change the title. For days off from the Echo (Friday-Sunday), replace the work with going food shopping, parking in front of computer, deleting spam, "thesis".
Two weeks down, two months to go.
Back to work.
"..urgh..."
*Brrriiinggg* *Brriiiinnng*
Dave stumbled out of bed and across the room to hit the alarm clock. Placing the alarm so far away had seemed like such a good idea last night. Would have to get him up. Well it had worked, but he hadn't slept well at all and now he didn't feel all that great. A double bed simply wasn't designed for single use. It became cold, empty and lonely.
Dave staggered off to hunt for food. Breakfast consisted of 4 Weetabix with some dried mixed fruit, which he consumed in front of the computer whilst checking emails aka deleting spam.
After breakfast he went to play on his Wii Fit. Started off with some lighter stepping exercises, moving on to workouts. An hour later he had a very much needed shower.
He returned to his computer, checked emails (more spam deleting) and opened up his file labelled "thesis". Then he got down to some hard work, stopping only every few minutes when MSN let him know he had some more spam to delete.
Around 4pm he went off to make some more food. Some veg, shallow boiled (like shallow frying, but replacing the oil with water), with added oyster source. Yum. He ate in front of the TV, despite nothing worth watching being on, then went off to work at his door to door job for the Echo.
Having failed to convince even a single person to sign up to have the Echo delivered, Dave returned home at around 9pm. Cooked himself a fried egg-tomotoe-mince meat meal, with added oyster source and ate in front of the TV, despite nothing worth watching being on. He then washed the dishes and retired upstairs.
Parking himself once more in front of the computer, he deleted spam, opened up his file "thesis" and got down to work. Around 11 his mind started to wonder a little, but he argued with himself and carried on for another 2 hours, although at a much reduced efficiency.
Finally exhausted, he set his alarm and placed it as far away from the bed as he could. Otherwise he would just wack it and go back to sleep. Then he finally went to bed.
... where he found he could not sleep... a double bed simply wasn't designed for single use... it became cold... empty... lonely.
Note, for day 2 onwards, simply change the title. For days off from the Echo (Friday-Sunday), replace the work with going food shopping, parking in front of computer, deleting spam, "thesis".
Two weeks down, two months to go.
Back to work.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Apart.
Coming home from work, Dave's daily routine involved pulling out his phone, dialling Jean's number and saying hi. The conversation would lead on from there, usually in a somewhat random direction. A somewhat pointless routine really, since it took less than 30 minutes to get home and Jean would be waiting for him on arrival, but a routine he wouldn't miss for the world.
Today was different. Today Dave's phone stayed in his pocket. Today a phone call would have been too pointless even for Dave, because today Jean wasn't at home, she was thousands of miles away, travelling at ridiculously high speeds on a rather large metal bird. Today, Jean left for China.
Since meeting several years ago, Dave and Jean had not been apart for longer than a week, rarely been apart for more than 3 days and usually not been seperated for more than several hours. They had been joined at the hip and enjoyed every moment of it. Now Jean would be away for over 2 months.
Why?
There were 2 main reasons for her going while he stayed. The first, Jean REALLY needed a break. The job she had just recently quit had caused her far too much stress (for far too little pay). She now had just over 2 months free before she returned to Uni to do an Msc and she needed to enjoy it. The second, Dave REALLY needed to get ALOT of work done. He was way behind his original schedule (and his second, third and fourth schedules) and needed to get his PhD back on track.
There was little Dave could do about the first target, other than prayer. For the next 10 weeks he would throw himself whole heartedly into the second.
Starting right now.
Today was different. Today Dave's phone stayed in his pocket. Today a phone call would have been too pointless even for Dave, because today Jean wasn't at home, she was thousands of miles away, travelling at ridiculously high speeds on a rather large metal bird. Today, Jean left for China.
Since meeting several years ago, Dave and Jean had not been apart for longer than a week, rarely been apart for more than 3 days and usually not been seperated for more than several hours. They had been joined at the hip and enjoyed every moment of it. Now Jean would be away for over 2 months.
Why?
There were 2 main reasons for her going while he stayed. The first, Jean REALLY needed a break. The job she had just recently quit had caused her far too much stress (for far too little pay). She now had just over 2 months free before she returned to Uni to do an Msc and she needed to enjoy it. The second, Dave REALLY needed to get ALOT of work done. He was way behind his original schedule (and his second, third and fourth schedules) and needed to get his PhD back on track.
There was little Dave could do about the first target, other than prayer. For the next 10 weeks he would throw himself whole heartedly into the second.
Starting right now.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Wii Fit
There is an episode of South Park in which Cartman buys a failing fairground, closes the doors and keeps it all to himself. Suddenly, because he doesn't allow anyone in, everyone wants to get in. Discovering a fairground costs too much to run, Cartman is forced to open it back up to the public and it becomes a huge success again.
Why mention this? Well it is clearly the source of inspiration for the marketing people down at Nintendo. In the real world, no body seems to play the "You can't have this, nah nah" card better. The Wii is still not easy to find, games such as Mario Kart are few and far between and the Wii Fit simply doesn't seem to exist. Retailing at £70, the Wii Fit is in such high demand that it sells regularly on ebay for £150. Yet Nintendo still splashes out on TV ads and public demonstrations. For all these reasons, Dave was pretty darn happy to say the least when he finally tracked one down.
So what is? The Wii Fit is a game which comes with the Wii Board. The Wii Board is a sensitive weighing device, which can measure changes in balance side to side and front to back. It can thus be used to play games such as virtual skiing, to measure performance in work outs such as push ups and to improve posture through various yoga stances. In total, Wii Fit offers around 50 such things to choose from, ranging from cutely additive to physically exhuasting.
Although true a large amount of the activities on offer COULD, quite easily, be done WITHOUT a Wii Board or the Wii Fit, the majority of people simply don't do them. Tell a person to stand on one leg for 30 seconds a day, then swap to the other leg and repeat and it simply won't get done. Put them on a Wii Fit and the same task becomes fun. It shifts exercise away from the "work" catorgory that alot of people have placed it in, back to the "play" slot where it belongs.
But most importantly, it produces pretty graphs.
Why mention this? Well it is clearly the source of inspiration for the marketing people down at Nintendo. In the real world, no body seems to play the "You can't have this, nah nah" card better. The Wii is still not easy to find, games such as Mario Kart are few and far between and the Wii Fit simply doesn't seem to exist. Retailing at £70, the Wii Fit is in such high demand that it sells regularly on ebay for £150. Yet Nintendo still splashes out on TV ads and public demonstrations. For all these reasons, Dave was pretty darn happy to say the least when he finally tracked one down.
So what is? The Wii Fit is a game which comes with the Wii Board. The Wii Board is a sensitive weighing device, which can measure changes in balance side to side and front to back. It can thus be used to play games such as virtual skiing, to measure performance in work outs such as push ups and to improve posture through various yoga stances. In total, Wii Fit offers around 50 such things to choose from, ranging from cutely additive to physically exhuasting.
Although true a large amount of the activities on offer COULD, quite easily, be done WITHOUT a Wii Board or the Wii Fit, the majority of people simply don't do them. Tell a person to stand on one leg for 30 seconds a day, then swap to the other leg and repeat and it simply won't get done. Put them on a Wii Fit and the same task becomes fun. It shifts exercise away from the "work" catorgory that alot of people have placed it in, back to the "play" slot where it belongs.
But most importantly, it produces pretty graphs.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Chaos Conference 2008
The first ever annual Chaotic Conference on Modelling and Simulating Chaos was taking place in Crete, near Chania. Dave, due to a horrible flight time table, had the rare honour of being one of the first, if not THE first, to arrive at the first ever conference of it's type, at around 7am.
So, what is Chaos? According to Wiki:
"In mathematics, chaos theory describes the behavior of certain dynamical systems – that is, systems whose state evolves with time – that may exhibit dynamics that are highly sensitive to initial conditions (popularly referred to as the butterfly effect). As a result of this sensitivity, which manifests itself as an exponential growth of perturbations in the initial conditions, the behavior of chaotic systems appears to be random. This happens even though these systems are deterministic, meaning that their future dynamics are fully defined by their initial conditions, with no random elements involved. This behavior is known as deterministic chaos, or simply chaos."
Clear? Good.
Academic conferences in general follow a simply layout. There are important talks, which usually last an hour, given by key speakers that everyone should attend. Then there are shorter 20 min talks given by people attending. Usually 4 or so of these talks happen at the same time and people must choose which talk they wish to see from the program. Dave was scheduled to give his talk at 10am on the second day of the conference. Each session is controlled by a chair person, who basically acts as a stopwatch.
Session 1, first day. No chair person shows up. 2 out of 4 of the speakers don't show up. The other "2" speakers turn out to be just 1 person giving 2 talks. These are presented with no idea of length of time.
Good start.
Session 2. The chair person IS the speaker, thus not having any idea of time. Another speaker doesn't show up, talks are given early due to this, anyone following the program in another room is missing the talks they wanted to hear here.
Hmm...
Dave's talk. Two speakers don't turn up before him, he gives the talk at 9:20am to an audience who have no idea what he is talking about and finishes 20 minutes before his actual audience is due to arrive.
...
Over the four days of talks, Dave personally counted 32 normal speakers going AWOL, 4 chair people not attending, the majority of sessions being chaired by a speaker, 1 "important" speaker sending his apologies, at least 3 computational difficulties, including one rather spectacular explosion of a projector bulb and a total of around 3 talks that actually happened at the time they were suppose to.
For anyone who didn't quite follow the Wiki definition earlier, THIS is Chaos.
So, what is Chaos? According to Wiki:
"In mathematics, chaos theory describes the behavior of certain dynamical systems – that is, systems whose state evolves with time – that may exhibit dynamics that are highly sensitive to initial conditions (popularly referred to as the butterfly effect). As a result of this sensitivity, which manifests itself as an exponential growth of perturbations in the initial conditions, the behavior of chaotic systems appears to be random. This happens even though these systems are deterministic, meaning that their future dynamics are fully defined by their initial conditions, with no random elements involved. This behavior is known as deterministic chaos, or simply chaos."
Clear? Good.
Academic conferences in general follow a simply layout. There are important talks, which usually last an hour, given by key speakers that everyone should attend. Then there are shorter 20 min talks given by people attending. Usually 4 or so of these talks happen at the same time and people must choose which talk they wish to see from the program. Dave was scheduled to give his talk at 10am on the second day of the conference. Each session is controlled by a chair person, who basically acts as a stopwatch.
Session 1, first day. No chair person shows up. 2 out of 4 of the speakers don't show up. The other "2" speakers turn out to be just 1 person giving 2 talks. These are presented with no idea of length of time.
Good start.
Session 2. The chair person IS the speaker, thus not having any idea of time. Another speaker doesn't show up, talks are given early due to this, anyone following the program in another room is missing the talks they wanted to hear here.
Hmm...
Dave's talk. Two speakers don't turn up before him, he gives the talk at 9:20am to an audience who have no idea what he is talking about and finishes 20 minutes before his actual audience is due to arrive.
...
Over the four days of talks, Dave personally counted 32 normal speakers going AWOL, 4 chair people not attending, the majority of sessions being chaired by a speaker, 1 "important" speaker sending his apologies, at least 3 computational difficulties, including one rather spectacular explosion of a projector bulb and a total of around 3 talks that actually happened at the time they were suppose to.
For anyone who didn't quite follow the Wiki definition earlier, THIS is Chaos.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Athens
Since as far back as Dave could remember he had always wanted to visit Athens. The place of his father's birth and, much more recently, home of the ancient Greeks, arguably the birth place of Philosopy and Mathematics. It had called to Dave constantly.
Now, finally, after almost 24 years of waiting, 5 hours of flight and another few hours waiting in Prague, Dave finally picked up his luggage at around 1am, Athens airport and stepped out into Athens.
Finally.
2 minutes later he stepped back into the airport to go catch another flight to Crete, where he would have a conference on Modeling and Simulating Chaos.
Still, it was nice while it lasted.
Now, finally, after almost 24 years of waiting, 5 hours of flight and another few hours waiting in Prague, Dave finally picked up his luggage at around 1am, Athens airport and stepped out into Athens.
Finally.
2 minutes later he stepped back into the airport to go catch another flight to Crete, where he would have a conference on Modeling and Simulating Chaos.
Still, it was nice while it lasted.
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