Little Ms Driving Test. Practical.

Tuesday, 10th of March. Jean staggered out of bed at the ridiculously early time of 9am. Or at least it seemed ridiculously early to the semi-conscious Dave watching her.

Today she would take her practical driving test. She was a little nervous, but nothing major. Afterall, Dave couldn't laugh at her regardless of the outcome. How many times had Dave failed it? 4?!? Silly, silly boy.

Anywho, 9.30am and off she went. The hour before the test went well.

10.25am. She arrived at Norris Green test centre and sat down in a small little room with chairs lining both sides. The type of horrible little waiting room specially designed to make you fall apart with nerves. Jean kept her cool.

10.33am. Her examiner arrived, nice enough bloke. After checking the documents and passing the customary checks without issue it was time to start driving.

Driving. Check.
Reverse bay park. Check.
Turn in the road. Check.

Jean was nailing with perfection.

... and then it happened...

'My husband is sooo handsome.... I can just picture him... lying in bed at home... playing with his really big... teddy bear....'

While Jean's mind began to wander she almost drove onto the wrong direction of a dual carriage way.

'OH S*%T!!!! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!!' thought the examiner calmly as he pointed Jean in the right direction. Examiner took action. Automatic fail. Something Dave knew all too well.

'Damn it!' thought Jean, 'Why does Dave have to be soo damn sexy!?'

'Damn.'

Lent '09.

As far as Dave was aware, Lent began the day after Pancake Tuesday. This was of great concern to Dave, as he had only now, over a week later, decided what he would go without. Had he failed his pledge before it had even begun?

He searched for answers, and came acroos the following in the book of Freddie:

"And said the lord: tuesday surely is the day of pancakes but if thou hasth scheduling problems let there be pancake thursday. And it was good."

'Phew,' thought Dave. He'd have some pancakes tomorrow and start Lent on Friday. The book of Freddie was such a good book. Not quite the book of Dave, but still a pretty decent read.

So, what had Dave decided to give up this time? Chocolates? Sweets? Ney. This year he would try something new.

This year Dave would give up ... drum role... pause for effect.... his beard!

... wait for applause... waiting... acknowledge the tumbleweed... move on...

Yes, this year Dave would shave everyday of Lent. This may seem somewhat common to most folk, but several important reasons had stopped Dave in the past:

1. He was lazy.
2. Really lazy.
3. Standing in front of a miror, cutting his face open with a razor to "look good", just didn't appeal to him.
4. Shaving daily usually gave him a rather nasty rash.

So what had he done to help him overcome these vast obstacles? He had bought himself a new electric razor!!!

This helped in the following ways:

1. It was shiny.
2. It was a gadget.
3. It was quick.
4. It would hopefully not leave him looking like an extra on a zombie movie. Fingers crossed.
5. He had spent money on it. The novelty should at least last a few weeks.

Since 5 was bigger than 4, he was bound to succeed.

Maths is cool.