Exhausted, hungry, unhappy and quite noticebly smelly, Dave and Jean finally stumbled through their front door.
Home, Sweet Home.
It was Sunday night, Jan 15th, 2006. They would have little chance to sleep. Dave would have to be up and off to Uni to try and catch up his studies, then later it was straight back into his nightly echo role. Jean would be up even earlier for her daily treck to her employment.
That stupid job. She recieved 100 a week for 45 hours of work and another 10 hours traveling back and forth. It was because of that job that their trip had been so badly timed. China for Christmas and New Year and England for Chinese New Year. How pointless was that? It was going half-way around the world to avoid having a celebration, for three of the biggest celebrations in the world. Still, it had been the only time Jean could take off and therefore the only time they could go.
Dave shifted through the mountain of mail as Jean washed up. Jean finished just as dave came across a letter addressed to her. "Here, it's from your job."
"We are sorry to inform you..."
She'd been fired?!?! Those lowsy, good for nothing, pieces of...
Her contract had not been renewed. Before she had left they had mentioned promotion, a week later she wasn't good enough? Jean called her former employer and the news was confirmed. She was invited to come round the following day for an explanation.
The following day came, Jean did the hour journey there one last time. Her 'boss' had 'forgot' to show up. Jean packed up her desk and said a fond fairwell to the hell hole.
It felt good to have such a good old English welcome back.
It's nice to be home.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
The Little Black Bag
Leaving San Ming was never easy. The luggage weighing in at a combined total of around 70kg didn't help matters much. Dave's main challange was the Little Black Bag. Alone, it weighed around 30kg. Although it had wheels, they were very misbehaving, and usually went in random directions. It was easily big enough to be awkward, but just small enough to make it uncomfortable to drag along the floor, even if the wheels worked. The overall shape was that of a big blob of mash potatoe. This would be fun.
Carried down 6 flights of stairs, thrown into a car, lifted out at the station, dragged through the station hitting every bumb, up and down ramps and stairs, lifted onto and through the train, then back off again, dragged through another station, ramps, stairs, onto a coach, off a coach, into a hotel, back out, lifted in and out of a taxi, round an airport and onto a plane.
When added to the lack of sleep during the 48hr trip, Dave was incredibly happy to finally touch down in Manchester and have it safely tucked away onto an airport trolly.
Unfortantly, this is were it made an unscheduled stop at the customs.
Lifted onto the table, opened up and emptied out.
"I'm sorry, your not allowed to bring meat in, or shellfish..."
The conversation was neither short nor sweet, but at the end of it the Little Black Bag had managed to lose 6kg in a matter of minutes. Slim fast eat your heart out.
6kg! That was almost a third of it's stupid, uncontrolable, bulky mess. Argh!!
This argh was not helped by the fact that that third had probably cost a fair bit of money and had been the highest quality stuff. Not only had he just carried that all the way to England for no good reason, but now he wouldn't have anything to eat when he got home.
He wasn't happy. Jean wasn't happy.
'I just wanna go home and sleep.'
Carried down 6 flights of stairs, thrown into a car, lifted out at the station, dragged through the station hitting every bumb, up and down ramps and stairs, lifted onto and through the train, then back off again, dragged through another station, ramps, stairs, onto a coach, off a coach, into a hotel, back out, lifted in and out of a taxi, round an airport and onto a plane.
When added to the lack of sleep during the 48hr trip, Dave was incredibly happy to finally touch down in Manchester and have it safely tucked away onto an airport trolly.
Unfortantly, this is were it made an unscheduled stop at the customs.
Lifted onto the table, opened up and emptied out.
"I'm sorry, your not allowed to bring meat in, or shellfish..."
The conversation was neither short nor sweet, but at the end of it the Little Black Bag had managed to lose 6kg in a matter of minutes. Slim fast eat your heart out.
6kg! That was almost a third of it's stupid, uncontrolable, bulky mess. Argh!!
This argh was not helped by the fact that that third had probably cost a fair bit of money and had been the highest quality stuff. Not only had he just carried that all the way to England for no good reason, but now he wouldn't have anything to eat when he got home.
He wasn't happy. Jean wasn't happy.
'I just wanna go home and sleep.'
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Bye Bye San Ming
San Ming is a lovely little town on the southern coast of China. What makes it lovely is not the buildings, the food or the endless supply of clothes shops, though these do have there charms. What makes it lovely is the sweet little smile that appeared on Jean's face whenever she was home, sweet home. There isn't a greater sight in all the world.
This being so, Dave felt like the biggest pile of horse manure the world have ever known when it came to taking Jean back to England. If it wasn't for him, what reason would she have for going back? What possible reason could there be to take that smile away from her?
The last day came and went. There was the last game of 'Ba shi fan', the early morning rush to the train station and the predicatable tears.
As Dave held his wife in the dead of night, trying his best to comfort her, he thought
'Dave, your an asshole.'
This being so, Dave felt like the biggest pile of horse manure the world have ever known when it came to taking Jean back to England. If it wasn't for him, what reason would she have for going back? What possible reason could there be to take that smile away from her?
The last day came and went. There was the last game of 'Ba shi fan', the early morning rush to the train station and the predicatable tears.
As Dave held his wife in the dead of night, trying his best to comfort her, he thought
'Dave, your an asshole.'
Seeing the Sights
China, in general, seems to be a beautiful country, with plenty of places to see. Dave had been to several. Tombs, ancient battlegrounds, giant Buddhas, temples, the Great Wall... the list goes on and on. Words can never truely grasp such places with any justice.
What words can describe was a reaccuring event which seemed to happen at every location...
Dave stared down as Jean and her mum disappeared into the distance. The road was almost vertical, not to mention slippy, how did they move so fast? There was one obvious way he could catch up, but that would hurt. Falling from great hights was not on Dave's 'to do' list.
Eventually one of them, usually Jean's mum, would turn back and offer a helping hand. Linking arms with someone who is helping you to stay upright makes one feel incredibly old and feable.
"Is this because your afraid of heights?"
"No, it's because I have less balance than a one-legged chair." 'Though being afraid of heights really doesn't help much.'
Occasionally one of Dave's feet would slip slightly. This produced an involuntary reaction of leg shaking along with freezing to the spot. It clearly looked funny, if Jean's mums giggle was anything to go by, but Dave failed to see the joke.
'I fall, I die, probably in a very painful way. Foot slipping = close to falling = funny?'
Nope, the joke was always just out of his grasp.
At the end of each such outing Dave was always thankful to be alive.
"So," he said chearfully, "Where to next?"
What words can describe was a reaccuring event which seemed to happen at every location...
Dave stared down as Jean and her mum disappeared into the distance. The road was almost vertical, not to mention slippy, how did they move so fast? There was one obvious way he could catch up, but that would hurt. Falling from great hights was not on Dave's 'to do' list.
Eventually one of them, usually Jean's mum, would turn back and offer a helping hand. Linking arms with someone who is helping you to stay upright makes one feel incredibly old and feable.
"Is this because your afraid of heights?"
"No, it's because I have less balance than a one-legged chair." 'Though being afraid of heights really doesn't help much.'
Occasionally one of Dave's feet would slip slightly. This produced an involuntary reaction of leg shaking along with freezing to the spot. It clearly looked funny, if Jean's mums giggle was anything to go by, but Dave failed to see the joke.
'I fall, I die, probably in a very painful way. Foot slipping = close to falling = funny?'
Nope, the joke was always just out of his grasp.
At the end of each such outing Dave was always thankful to be alive.
"So," he said chearfully, "Where to next?"
Happy New Year
Dave, Jean and her mum and dad sat round the little square table playing "Ba Shi Fan" (80 points). It is one of the greatest card games in the world. It puzzled Dave greatly how it had not made it to England, EVERYONE in China seemed to know how to play it (and that's ALOT of people). Of cause Poker had not made it to China. The Chinese knew the word "Poker", but had took it to mean "Card Game". Hence "Da Poker" meant "Play a card game". Basically it's a game for four people, not more than four, not less. That slightly limits it, which is it's only drawback. That and it requires two packs of cards, complete with jokers. The four people split into two teams and play against each other, working together. It's very intense.
Suddenly some fireworks went off outside, interupting the flow of play. Dave was slightly annoyed. His annoyance turned to disbelieve when Jean's mum pulled out a firework and he suddenly realised what they were for.
'It's New Year's Eve? Midnight?'
How he could have completely forgotten about it was beyond him. Time kind of ceased to have meaning when he was in China. Everyday was Saturday. No work, no responsiblity. But still, he had just missed the Big Moment.
Jean's mum wanted Dave to hold the firework while she set it alight.
'Erm... no....'
When it seemed obvious that Dave didn't want this honour (some things don't require words), she took it to the window and held it herself. Thankfully it wasn't a rocket. It shot out several balls of fire, each one accompanied by a little scared-child-scream from Jean.
It was nice. "Happy NEW YEAR!" said Dave finally.
Now, "Da Pai!" (play cards).
They had a good night.
Suddenly some fireworks went off outside, interupting the flow of play. Dave was slightly annoyed. His annoyance turned to disbelieve when Jean's mum pulled out a firework and he suddenly realised what they were for.
'It's New Year's Eve? Midnight?'
How he could have completely forgotten about it was beyond him. Time kind of ceased to have meaning when he was in China. Everyday was Saturday. No work, no responsiblity. But still, he had just missed the Big Moment.
Jean's mum wanted Dave to hold the firework while she set it alight.
'Erm... no....'
When it seemed obvious that Dave didn't want this honour (some things don't require words), she took it to the window and held it herself. Thankfully it wasn't a rocket. It shot out several balls of fire, each one accompanied by a little scared-child-scream from Jean.
It was nice. "Happy NEW YEAR!" said Dave finally.
Now, "Da Pai!" (play cards).
They had a good night.
Friday, January 20, 2006
San Ming Zoo
Dave felt great, but that was no surprise. How can anyone not feel great when they're on a trip to the zoo!
A short walk across town and up a hill and there it was. 'YAY!'
First came the birds. It reminded him very much of back home, Sefton Park, it was almost an identical layout. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Leopard. Leopard? Wow! Ok, maybe not exactly the same as back home. That's a leopard, that's a real leopard. There were several of them.
"Rrrrr."
One said to Dave, in a polite I-want-to-tear-you-limb-from-limb manner.
"Rah!" shouted Jean happily back at him.
"I bet you wouldn't say that if the cage wasn't there."
Suddenly, as Dave stood staring at these magnificant cats, it appeared that someone else was staring at a very different animal. Him.
"She asked if her daughter can have her picture with you," Jean translated.
"Erm... yeah.. sure.."
This was a zoo. People took pictures of all the strange animals. Why should Dave be any different? So he stood by the little girl and let a complete stranger take a picture. A complete stranger. Dave had never felt more like a monkey. Felt good.
After the leopards and before the lions, tigers and monkeys came the camel. Big, smelly, hairy and ugly, it reminded Dave a little of himself. Jean picked up some food from the pile in front of him and fed him. He ate it up greedily.
Dave picked up some food and also tried to feed him. Nothing. Completely ignored.
Jean took the food from Dave and then the camel took it from her and ate it up greedily.
"I don't think he likes you," she laughed.
Jean's mum picked up some food and again the camel ate it up greedily.
Dave, determined, tried again. The camel ignored him. Dave kept trying. Finally the camel took it. Result. 2 seconds later the camel spat it straight back out, then he turned to Jean and ate the food she offered greedily.
"AH!"
Dave tried again, everyone was laughing, a small crowd had gathered, come see the strange looking monkey try to feed the racist camel. Again the camel took the food and spat it straight back out. Dave sighed, lowered his head and walked away defeated.
"Where are the monkeys, they'll like me." And they did.
A short walk across town and up a hill and there it was. 'YAY!'
First came the birds. It reminded him very much of back home, Sefton Park, it was almost an identical layout. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Leopard. Leopard? Wow! Ok, maybe not exactly the same as back home. That's a leopard, that's a real leopard. There were several of them.
"Rrrrr."
One said to Dave, in a polite I-want-to-tear-you-limb-from-limb manner.
"Rah!" shouted Jean happily back at him.
"I bet you wouldn't say that if the cage wasn't there."
Suddenly, as Dave stood staring at these magnificant cats, it appeared that someone else was staring at a very different animal. Him.
"She asked if her daughter can have her picture with you," Jean translated.
"Erm... yeah.. sure.."
This was a zoo. People took pictures of all the strange animals. Why should Dave be any different? So he stood by the little girl and let a complete stranger take a picture. A complete stranger. Dave had never felt more like a monkey. Felt good.
After the leopards and before the lions, tigers and monkeys came the camel. Big, smelly, hairy and ugly, it reminded Dave a little of himself. Jean picked up some food from the pile in front of him and fed him. He ate it up greedily.
Dave picked up some food and also tried to feed him. Nothing. Completely ignored.
Jean took the food from Dave and then the camel took it from her and ate it up greedily.
"I don't think he likes you," she laughed.
Jean's mum picked up some food and again the camel ate it up greedily.
Dave, determined, tried again. The camel ignored him. Dave kept trying. Finally the camel took it. Result. 2 seconds later the camel spat it straight back out, then he turned to Jean and ate the food she offered greedily.
"AH!"
Dave tried again, everyone was laughing, a small crowd had gathered, come see the strange looking monkey try to feed the racist camel. Again the camel took the food and spat it straight back out. Dave sighed, lowered his head and walked away defeated.
"Where are the monkeys, they'll like me." And they did.
Christmas 2005
"Ow" said Dave.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..."
Dave did not feel too great. Dave didn't even feel slightly great. Dave felt like his head had been stuck in a blender. He couldn't breathe all that well, he felt incredibly tired and weak and why wouldn't the room stop spinning?
He was lying alone in a hotel in Beijing. He had successfully managed to steal his wife's cold and this was his reward. The 24hr trip to get here without any kind of sleep had not helped much.
'Hmm... ' he thought, 'Merry Christmas Dave. Merry... ow.'
Yes. Today was the 25th of December 2005. Christmas had not really made it to China in any kind of big way and Dave had clearly not brought it with him.
"Argh."
Alone, in the dark, Dave lay there and thought back to last week. He remembered meeting up with his friends and family, exchanging presents and goodwill and it brought a smile to his face. That was Christmas. Not this.
The 25th is a fairly meaningless date and december a pretty meaningless month. Christmas is whenever and wherever.
But still, Dave couldn't help wanting this Christmas to be a little better. He didn't need any presents or trees or shiny things. He just wanted his head back in one piece.
'Oh well, better luck next year.'
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..."
Dave did not feel too great. Dave didn't even feel slightly great. Dave felt like his head had been stuck in a blender. He couldn't breathe all that well, he felt incredibly tired and weak and why wouldn't the room stop spinning?
He was lying alone in a hotel in Beijing. He had successfully managed to steal his wife's cold and this was his reward. The 24hr trip to get here without any kind of sleep had not helped much.
'Hmm... ' he thought, 'Merry Christmas Dave. Merry... ow.'
Yes. Today was the 25th of December 2005. Christmas had not really made it to China in any kind of big way and Dave had clearly not brought it with him.
"Argh."
Alone, in the dark, Dave lay there and thought back to last week. He remembered meeting up with his friends and family, exchanging presents and goodwill and it brought a smile to his face. That was Christmas. Not this.
The 25th is a fairly meaningless date and december a pretty meaningless month. Christmas is whenever and wherever.
But still, Dave couldn't help wanting this Christmas to be a little better. He didn't need any presents or trees or shiny things. He just wanted his head back in one piece.
'Oh well, better luck next year.'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)