"So what of hospitals, politicians, religion, spirituality...?"
The list of differences between China and England is possibly never ending. Some big, some small and some just difficult to say which is really "better".
England is generally seen as having better hospitals and health services, yet it costs nearly 20 pounds in England just to show a dentist your teeth whilst the same 20 pounds in China could get every tooth fixed up.
Politicians in England are more open, but they've all blurred into each other and no one sees any point in voting. England has freedom of speech but far more terrorists.
England has a much wider array of religions and spiritual beliefs, China allows these beliefs it just doesn't have a strong tradition in them and thus doesn't force them on anyone.
etc etc etc.
The bottom line is the differences don't matter. It's the similarities that count. It's the ability to overcome every obstacle and for each to still acknowledge the other is filled with fellow human beings.
Whatever the faith of the reader, almost everyone can agree that the Chinese and the English all came from the same place. The same individual mother of humanity. The belief that this individual was human or monkey, thousands or millions of years ago doesn’t really make a difference.
If you prick us, do we not bleed? (Side note: Dave carried out a test on 1000 English people and 1000 Chinese people and found out that 100% of each group do in fact bleed.)
One day there won’t be labels, borders or mindless wars.
Then everyone will be a winner.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
England Vs China: Round 6: Language.
The biggest and most difficult seperation to overcome between England and China is that of language. The English speak English, the Chinese collectively have around 8000 different local dialects, which are generally grouped into 8 real different languages but the majority speak either Cantonese and/or Mandarin. Here the comparsion will be between English and Mandarin.
The observant and logical thinking reader will have noticed this English artical may have some bias. This is possibly unavoidable, but an attempt to be fair will still be made.
The English language has an alphabet of 26 letters. Knowledge of these 26 letters then makes every word readable, even if the meaning is unclear. For example the word "Wiswo", currently meaningless, but most English speaking readers will have pronounced it in a similar manner.
How do you pronounce "爱"？The reader either knows or does not. Even a Chinese individual who knows every other Chinese character except this one (a very poor individual indeed, since everyone should have someone to 爱) cannot know how to pronounce this.
There are over 60,000 Chinese characters, although only around 6,000 are used and known by the majority of educated Chinese speakers. Thats around 230 times more things to learn than in English. Written English clearly has the advantage.
What of spoken?
Chinese is a tonal language. The meaning of each syllable can change depending on the tone. "Ma" and "Ma" mean "horse" and "mother", depending on the tone. This tonal aspect is often of great difficultly for an individual not used to such a language, but it would be a huge bias to announce it inferior. It is simply different.
Mandarin has far less spoken syllables than English. Ignoring the tones it has around 400, including the tones it has around 1000. English has around 12,000 possible ones. So, clearly Mandarin wins on spoken and the round ends in a draw.
Well... no.
Mandarin has around 1000 possible syllables. Yet it has around 6,000 commonly used characters, each representing a syllable, each with a different meaning. This means that, on average, every spoken syllable, even if the tone is flawless, has 6 possible different meanings. Put 3 syllables together and unless familar enough with the language to imediately recognise it's meaning, a mental search of 216 possible combinations needs to be carried out.
Although possibly still being baised, the equaliser is scored.
England 3 - 3 China
The observant and logical thinking reader will have noticed this English artical may have some bias. This is possibly unavoidable, but an attempt to be fair will still be made.
The English language has an alphabet of 26 letters. Knowledge of these 26 letters then makes every word readable, even if the meaning is unclear. For example the word "Wiswo", currently meaningless, but most English speaking readers will have pronounced it in a similar manner.
How do you pronounce "爱"？The reader either knows or does not. Even a Chinese individual who knows every other Chinese character except this one (a very poor individual indeed, since everyone should have someone to 爱) cannot know how to pronounce this.
There are over 60,000 Chinese characters, although only around 6,000 are used and known by the majority of educated Chinese speakers. Thats around 230 times more things to learn than in English. Written English clearly has the advantage.
What of spoken?
Chinese is a tonal language. The meaning of each syllable can change depending on the tone. "Ma" and "Ma" mean "horse" and "mother", depending on the tone. This tonal aspect is often of great difficultly for an individual not used to such a language, but it would be a huge bias to announce it inferior. It is simply different.
Mandarin has far less spoken syllables than English. Ignoring the tones it has around 400, including the tones it has around 1000. English has around 12,000 possible ones. So, clearly Mandarin wins on spoken and the round ends in a draw.
Well... no.
Mandarin has around 1000 possible syllables. Yet it has around 6,000 commonly used characters, each representing a syllable, each with a different meaning. This means that, on average, every spoken syllable, even if the tone is flawless, has 6 possible different meanings. Put 3 syllables together and unless familar enough with the language to imediately recognise it's meaning, a mental search of 216 possible combinations needs to be carried out.
Although possibly still being baised, the equaliser is scored.
England 3 - 3 China
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
England Vs China: Round 5: Smoking.
The cigarette. The only natural predator of the human species left in the wild. The main driving force of human evolution in the world today, picking off the weak willed and the stupid day by day. Unfortunately, it’s method of slow, painful death is often not quick enough to stop the stupidity passing to the next generation.
Smoking in England is more and more being seen for the curse on humanity that it actually is. Warning labels are compulsory, advertising is seriously restricted and smoking in public has been outlawed. Smokers are becoming a minority in England, and the majority of that minority try not to let their dirty habit harm others and are indeed trying, or at least considering, to quit. The others are simply stupid, weak willed or/and rude.
Smoking in China is polite. The truth of smoking is well known and yet somehow, in some very twisted leap of logic, it is polite to pull out a packet of cigarettes and ensure everyone at the table has one. They will not force a non-smoker to smoke, but they may very well offer them several more that evening.
Such a tragic lack of common sense sees the three lions making a come back,
England 2 – 3 China
Smoking in England is more and more being seen for the curse on humanity that it actually is. Warning labels are compulsory, advertising is seriously restricted and smoking in public has been outlawed. Smokers are becoming a minority in England, and the majority of that minority try not to let their dirty habit harm others and are indeed trying, or at least considering, to quit. The others are simply stupid, weak willed or/and rude.
Smoking in China is polite. The truth of smoking is well known and yet somehow, in some very twisted leap of logic, it is polite to pull out a packet of cigarettes and ensure everyone at the table has one. They will not force a non-smoker to smoke, but they may very well offer them several more that evening.
Such a tragic lack of common sense sees the three lions making a come back,
England 2 – 3 China
England Vs China: Round 4: Alcohol.
Alcoholic drinks in England and China do not differ greatly. England has more choice when it comes to cocktails, China has more available in strong spirits and rice wine. Both countries have very similar, and in some cases identical, beers and wines.
The main difference between the two countries is the goal of drinking. The English drink to be drunk. This is not the case of all English drinkers, but certainly true for too large a proportion. They drink as much as they can as quick as they can so that they can escape any responsibilities and be “free”. This freedom often involves urinating in public, being violently sick and just being plain violent. England at night is no place for the sober.
The Chinese drink in groups whilst eating to be social and friendly. That is not to say that the Chinese don’t get drunk, but they usually become “friendly” drunks and the number of sober individuals in the group is often enough to ensure nothing goes too seriously wrong. Generally, the streets of China at night are a much calmer place.
Thus the Dragon sails into the lead and round 4 goes to China.
England 1 – 3 China.
The main difference between the two countries is the goal of drinking. The English drink to be drunk. This is not the case of all English drinkers, but certainly true for too large a proportion. They drink as much as they can as quick as they can so that they can escape any responsibilities and be “free”. This freedom often involves urinating in public, being violently sick and just being plain violent. England at night is no place for the sober.
The Chinese drink in groups whilst eating to be social and friendly. That is not to say that the Chinese don’t get drunk, but they usually become “friendly” drunks and the number of sober individuals in the group is often enough to ensure nothing goes too seriously wrong. Generally, the streets of China at night are a much calmer place.
Thus the Dragon sails into the lead and round 4 goes to China.
England 1 – 3 China.
England Vs China: Round 3: Teenagers.
The streets of England are ruled by fear of teenage hooligans. They lurk on street corners awaiting their next victim. They hurl random insults at everyone and everything and give physical abuse either to those who respond or those who don’t. Despite this, it is still often frowned upon for any adult to strike back, after all, they’re only kids. They go unchecked, undisciplined, unpunished and they make England’s future look cloudy to say the least.
The Chinese in this respect have evolved far beyond their English counterparts. There are no teenagers in China. There are little children, there are adults, there is little or no sign of anything in between. Logic suggests this cannot be the case, but it is clearly what the evidence suggests.
Apparently, so the legend goes, the group of Chinese known as Teenage lurk in the shadows of school grounds during the day and seek the shelter of home where they can study during the night. There may also be small underground hideaways in which they group together, but these have never been found. Indeed, no one has ever seen one of these “Teenage”, it’s always “a friend of a friend” who has seen one.
In comparison, there can be only one winner.
England 1 – 2 China.
The Chinese in this respect have evolved far beyond their English counterparts. There are no teenagers in China. There are little children, there are adults, there is little or no sign of anything in between. Logic suggests this cannot be the case, but it is clearly what the evidence suggests.
Apparently, so the legend goes, the group of Chinese known as Teenage lurk in the shadows of school grounds during the day and seek the shelter of home where they can study during the night. There may also be small underground hideaways in which they group together, but these have never been found. Indeed, no one has ever seen one of these “Teenage”, it’s always “a friend of a friend” who has seen one.
In comparison, there can be only one winner.
England 1 – 2 China.
England Vs China: Round 2: Traffic.
When it comes to traffic, China has a huge advantage: Probably more than half it’s vehicles are bikes or motorbikes. Compare this to England, which has less than one percent. (Side note: 98.2576% of all statistics are made up on the spot.) The per person pollution is greatly reduced and traffic jams occur less frequently. The remaining vehicles are made up mostly of taxis and busses, which are very cheap compared to England, with very few taxi rides costing greater than a pound. On paper, China wins round two hands down and is off to a flying start at two-nil.
However, China’s roads do have one small disadvantage compared to England’s. They lack any noticeable rules.
Undertake, overtake, it’s all the same. Traffic lights? More of a guideline, but shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Priority? Who got there first? Driving into oncoming traffic? Frowned upon, but when you’ve got to go you’ve got to go.
The roads in China are utter chaos, although strangely, seem to have less accidents than in England. Or perhaps they just cover them up quicker. Still, every time one crosses the road it feels like a mammoth achievement, and would be followed immediately by going straight home to sleep, but that would involve crossing back.
Therefore, despite all of the Island’s flaws, round two goes to England.
England 1 – 1 China.
However, China’s roads do have one small disadvantage compared to England’s. They lack any noticeable rules.
Undertake, overtake, it’s all the same. Traffic lights? More of a guideline, but shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Priority? Who got there first? Driving into oncoming traffic? Frowned upon, but when you’ve got to go you’ve got to go.
The roads in China are utter chaos, although strangely, seem to have less accidents than in England. Or perhaps they just cover them up quicker. Still, every time one crosses the road it feels like a mammoth achievement, and would be followed immediately by going straight home to sleep, but that would involve crossing back.
Therefore, despite all of the Island’s flaws, round two goes to England.
England 1 – 1 China.
England Vs China: Round 1: Food
The difference in attitude to eating between England and China was made famously clear in the comical HSBC advert, namely, the English find it rude not to finish their plate whilst the Chinese find it rude not to supply more than enough food for their guest to leave each meal stuffed. The meeting of these two cultures helps explain why England is fat and China is poor.
The type of food on offer in each country is vastly different. The Chinese are among the finest chefs in the world. Taking a single main ingredient such as rice they can produce tables and tables of dishes, complete with starters, main courses and desserts. Multiply this ability over the vast number of ingredients on offer and one has a menu which can take days to read. A typical Chinese market contains all the fruit, veg and meat available in England and then a large variety of others which the average English person will never in their lives know exist.
England, on the other hand, has next to no food that it can call it’s own. Anyone considering a meal in England will think “Italian, French, Greek, … , or Chinese?” and it fails even in imitation to produce.
The final blow comes in with the price. The price of food in England in pounds is pretty much the same as the price of food in China in RMB. With a conversation rate of 1 to 15 China wins round one with little effort.
England 0 – 1 China.
The type of food on offer in each country is vastly different. The Chinese are among the finest chefs in the world. Taking a single main ingredient such as rice they can produce tables and tables of dishes, complete with starters, main courses and desserts. Multiply this ability over the vast number of ingredients on offer and one has a menu which can take days to read. A typical Chinese market contains all the fruit, veg and meat available in England and then a large variety of others which the average English person will never in their lives know exist.
England, on the other hand, has next to no food that it can call it’s own. Anyone considering a meal in England will think “Italian, French, Greek, … , or Chinese?” and it fails even in imitation to produce.
The final blow comes in with the price. The price of food in England in pounds is pretty much the same as the price of food in China in RMB. With a conversation rate of 1 to 15 China wins round one with little effort.
England 0 – 1 China.
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