Monday, December 13, 2010

Too Fee or Not Too Fee.

On the 9th December 2010, Parliment voted 323 vs 302 in favour of the new highly controversial University Tution Fees structure.

So what is all the fuss about? Who are the main winners and losers? Glad you asked...

Protesters:

The recent riots were disgusting. Spoilt by gangs of idiotic children looking for a "legalised" excuse to smash stuff up, they did no favours for anyone.

Property was damaged, people on both sides were seriously hurt and it didn't have the slightest affect on the vote.

Those who caused the trouble did so delibrately. They are criminals and should be locked up.

Overall Verdict: Losers.

Students:

For UK students, Universities can currently charge up to £3290 per year. Students from poorer backgrounds do not need to pay these fees, but can take out student loans for cost of living. Students who do need to pay can take student loans to cover the cost. Most students leave Uni with £12K-£15K of debt, which is paid back at a rate of 9% of all income above £15K gross per year. Interest is kept in line with inflation so no one pays more than they borrowed in real terms.

The new system is essentially the same, but its 9% of everything above £21K per year, saving students up to £45 per month. Yay!

...oh, and the minor fact that Tution fees can be up to £9K per year, so that over the 30 year lifetime of the loan (wiped clean after 30 years) the majority of students will pay back thousands more than they do now. Darn.

It could be argued that the rise in threshold will mean that the poor will pay less. This, however, depends on the definition of poor. The son of a billionaire, who leaves Uni with several cars and houses from daddy and gets a part time job from his dad's company, giving him a £21K salary as pocket money would be one of the children who would never pay back.

In addition, the £21K is in 2016 terms, which is not that far from £15K in todays money.

Overall Verdict: Losers.


Universities:

Quids in? Nope. The new tution fees will really only cover the huge hole in funding caused by spending cuts. And if the higher fees scare students away they'll end up quids out.

Overall Verdicts: Losers


Lib Dems:

Not a day has gone by since the Lib Dems signed their "deal with the devil" that their popularity hasn't sunk lower and lower. Signing a pledge before the election to scrap tution fees and then becoming part of the government that nearly trebled them has, shockingly, not helped.

Nick Clegg may need a new strategy.

In addition to being at an all time low in opinion polls, the party looks ready to fall apart, with 28 "Yes" votes, 21 "No" votes and 8 "I didn't come in to Politics to have an opinion, I came for the free moats" votes.

Overall Verdict: Losers


Labour:

With the biggest riots in 20 years and alot of unhappy people around, its generally a great time to be in oposition.

Unfortunately for Labour, they have failed to really make the most of a "bad" situation. Although its easy enough to critise, Labour have failed completely to offer any kind of alternative, which is pretty bad. Particularly when even saying "just leave it alone" would have been more popular.

Instead they stand behind a graduate tax, just days after saying a graduate tax could never work.

Overall Verdict: Losers.


Conservatives:

Being the main driving force behind this whole event, and having kicked all other major players into the "losing" catergory, it may be fairly obvious that the only way is up for the Cons. Sure, there will be some political backlash, but the Lib Dems are taking the worse of it and Labour are failing to clear up. More importantly, by the time the elections swing round again this policy will have cleared shed loads of debt and make the Cons come out smelling of roses.

... or will it?

Having masively cut University funding because "there's no money left" the Universities will instead be funded by... the government...?

Sure the students will, eventually, pay back more under the new scheme, but all initial costs will need to be put up by the government. In fact, these initial costs, spent NOW, when the country has no money, will be more than under the old scheme. When the students do start paying back, they will pay back up to £45 per month less. Meaning the initial return, the return now, when the country is desperate for any spare change, will be less.

Even in the long run, on average it is expected that a graduate will need to earn over £45K per year to pay back everything within 30 years. For such large amounts over such a long time, any errors in predictions could mean the government falls far short of its expected returns and as more and more students pass through the system this could lead to an increasing blackhole in funding.

There's only one thing left to say about the Cons then.

Overall Verdict: Losers.


So, you may ask, has anyone won from all this?

Of cause they have.

The Scottish, who after centuries of abuse from the English, can now sit back and grin as the only members of the EU who need to pay for Universities in Scotland are the English (and Welsh and N. Irish).

Good Times.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

CT2, 5 and 8.

The October sitting of Actuarial exams saw Dave's biggest challenge to date. CT2, CT5 and CT8, aka Finance and Financial Reporting, Contingencies and Financial Economics.

The pressue was mounting for several reasons. CT8 had a reputation for being a troublesome beast, with a lower pass rate than the other CTs, it was also being taken by his company's latest recruit which meant potential loss of "face" if he failed and she passed, CT2 was more of an essay based exam which took Dave further from his comfort zone, CT5 was about Life and Pensions which Dave had no experience in, the October sitting of exams had less time to study and he still had a 100% success rate to maintain.

It was, therefore, with a sigh of relief that after the week of exams was over Dave thought quietly to himself,

'Nailed it.'

He wouldn't get the results until December, but Dave was already looking forward. With only one more brief stop in February for CT9 he was on his way to the big boy exams of the STs and CAs.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Mr and Dr Exall

September 18th 2010, Dave woke up with a smile at around 10am. Afterall, he had plenty of things to smile about.

He had spent the night in the beautiful little town of Hebden Bridge in West Yorkshire. It was a little place in the country with a population of around 4,500 (Dave counted) that had grown out of its water powered weaving mills in the 19th century due to its plentiful supply of both water and sheep.

It was gorgeous.

More specifically, he had spent the night in the very cosy home of one of Freddie's friends. Having never met Dave or any of his crew, this lady had volunteered to let them use her place in Hebden free of charge for the weekend while she was away. Everything about the house echoed the warmth of her gesture making it a lovely place to be.

Even more specifically, Dave had spent the night cuddled up to Bian on the sofa bed while Jean and her mum slept peacefully in the bedroom. If a night with Bian doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will.

And in addition to all that, in a few hours he would witness the long awaited marriage of Freddie and Sarah.

It was a good day.

The wedding itself was in the National Trust grounds of East Riddlesden Hall in Keighley, just down the road from Hebden Bridge. The hall was built in 1642 by James Murgatroyd from the money he made from sheep.

Taxi's had been pre-booked and paid for to get the group there and back again and arrived perfectly on schedule at 1pm. It made one brief stop on the way there for Bian to be violently sick but otherwise arrived without issue into the grounds at a little before 2pm. It turns out Bian gets travel sickness. Either that, or he had just had a flashback to last night.

Needless to say the grounds were amazing and they have made several TV appearences, most notably in the 1992 film Wuthering Hights. More recently they also appeared on Most Haunted, as the grounds are apparently normally packed full of ghosts. However, as it wasn't that big a wedding only a handful of them were invited.

The service itself was short and sweet, with the incredibly lucky Freddie watching as Sarah walked down the aisle to the tune of "Stand by Me" in a stunning dress and an even more stunning smile. With a ring, a kiss and a signiture it was official.

Congratulations to the newly weds! They made a wonderful couple.

And so, just several weeks before all of Freddie's hard work finally saw him finish his PhD and enter into the Doctorhood, Sarah became the first Dr Exall of the family.

Following the service came the feast, and in keeping with everything else it was fantastic. The very best in free range meat was enjoyed by all, while Freddie gave his speach in the background.

mmmm.... free range....

There was drinking and dancing, more food, more dancing and much merriment for the rest of the night.

And, of cause, the icing on the cake came in the form of icing on a cake. The wedding cake was an absolutely delicious chocolate delight and it was only with the upmost restrain and the knowledge that Jean would probably kill him that Dave stopped himself from just eating the whole thing by himself.

At the end of a wonderful day, the happy couple left for their honeymoon in Wales and the quartet returned to Hebden Bridge, were Dave spent the remainder of the night cuddled back up to Bian.

And the smile on Dave's face was still there.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

3 out of 5

Friday 27th August - Alan's little baby boy was finally due to arrive...

... but he was running a little behind schedule...

Saturday 28th August - Nope, still no sign.

Sunday 29th August - Any time now.

Monday 30th August - No, OK?!? No! Now quit asking.

Tuesday.. I said NO!

...

Monday 6th September - Katherine was finally due to be induced...

... but the hospital was a little busy...

Tuesday 7th September - Maybe tomorrow?

Wednesday 8th September - Tomorrow.

Thursday 9th September - Katherine was finally induced. She would be giving birth any time now...

... any time...

Friday 10th September - Callum was born at around 2pm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALLUM!!

Having been 2 weeks late, he clearly took after his dad in part, yet he was adorable and cute, so not completely.

With Alan finally joining the ranks of parenthood, that pushed the number of Natsios siblings with children past the midway point to 3 out of 5.

With the remaining 2 being Dave and Pea, and Pea being younger and single, the heat was really going to start going up for Dave.

"When...?"

"Not yet!"

External Business Meeting 101:

Things to do:

1. Inform reception of arrival.
2. Conduct the meeting in professional manner.
3. Leave.

Generally, the main focus of time and energy should be step 2...

...generally.

Dave and his colleague, Nicola, arrived at company X's building for a 3pm with Y.

Note: The company is not actually called "X" (however the person they were meeting really is known only as "Y").

Step 1: They informed reception that they were here to see Y who worked for X.

Reception stared back at them blankly.

"X?"

"Yes, X. To see Y"

Another blank.

"X?"

... after several more loops of this conversation, Nicola finally spotted X's name on the floor plan of the building and pointed it out to Mr Reception.

The fact that the company existed seemed to be good enough proof for Mr Reception that the duo did indeed have a meeting with Y and they were given their cheap paper passes without any further checks to see if Y was actually expecting them or even existed.

After all, they seemed to know the building better than he did.

Step 2: The meeting went without a hitch and an hour later it was wrapped up with smiles and handshakes all round.

Step 3: On leaving the building, Nicola handed in her pass to Mr Reception, Mr Reception stared at Dave and Dave stared back at him blankly.

"You need to hand back your pass."

'Fudge.'

"I've left it in the meeting room."

"Go back and get it."

And so, Nicola and Dave returned to the meeting room to collect the AWOL pass and adhere to the correct protocol of the building.

Note: At this point, the duo were roaming the building completely unaccompanied with no one knowing they were coming back up and neither of them had a pass...

Anywho, 2nd time lucky, the pass was handed back and they were out the door.

Easy.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Voting Results

For the past few months, one key question had been put to the people. A simple choice, the result of which would alter the lives of many in potentially unfathomable ways.

It was the debate that every one was talking about:

“Would Alan be having a boy or a girl?”

Those who were expecting a boy included, but were not limited to Dave, Jean, Dave’s mum, Dave’s Dad, Andrea, John, Emma, Ste, Cheryl, Pea, Aline ... etc etc.

Those who were expected a girl? Alan.

After months of vigorous campaigning from both parties the results could finally be confirmed:

It’s a Boy!!!!

It just goes to show that democracy CAN work.

...unfortunately, another lesser known poll also held recently went a little less smoothly.

When asked, “Who should be Prime Minister?” the UK rather strangely managed to get the answer completely wrong, with the largest proportion saying, “David Cameron.”

Dave could only assume they had never seen the chap and had just been, understandably, won over by his great name.

Even worse, having picked the wrong horse, they hadn’t even managed to back it right, resulting in all the MPs getting hung.

Ah well.

It’s a Boy!!!!

Saturday, May 08, 2010

20K

Some people in the world have more money than sense and, by George, Dave wished he was one of them. Unfortunately, in his case that would require a very significant sum of money, whilst other lucky people could achieve it for a fiver…

On a completely unrelated topic, Dave’s good friend Khany, having recently gained a few bob from a house sale, had just purchased 20,000 comic books.

Yes, you read that right, twenty thousand comic books.

This was not only incredibly cool, but also meant he now didn’t need to bother buying furniture for an entire room of his new house.

Genius.

...

...

Apologies, I had hoped to be able to give a complete list of the comic books here in alphabetical order, complete with five-star ratings. I asked Khany for the list over a week ago.

I wonder what's keeping him...?

Friday, May 07, 2010

CT4, 6 and 7.

April 2010 saw Dave approaching his second sitting of Actuarial exams, and his first sitting with any real meat on it. Sure he already had CT1 and CT3 behind him, but CT1 was baby Maths even open to non-Actuarial students and CT3 had been passed without even sitting the paper.

No, the September sitting had been nothing but an appetiser and it was time for steak.

CT4, CT6 and CT7, otherwise known as Models, Statistical Methods and Business Economics.

Dave received his study material a little before Christmas and studied non-stop straight through to the exams...

...other than a break for Christmas, obviously...

...and a short trip to China...

Anywho, come April he was ready, he was keen and he was focused.

... oooh look a puppy...

Focused!

All three exams were in one week, and even better, that one week was in Liverpool. True, he spent that week hermit-ed at home and he didn’t really see anyone the whole time, but he was home and he was with Jean.

Life was good.

Needless to say, they went well. Now he just had to wait till July for the results.

Bring on 2, 5 and 8!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Wo Xiang Ni.

Having finally handed in her msc dissertation, Jean decided to take a much needed break before going back to the real world. To this aim, she was heading back to China to see her mum for Chinese new year.

Dave, having already joined the real world, was unable to go for the whole trip. He would, however, join her in March for the final two weeks and the pair would then come home together.

Although Dave had a history of getting all soppy and girly while Jean was away, whining for her like a little puppy, this time would be different. For several reasons.

Firstly, Dave had now had 7 months of being away from Jean, seeing her very little and doing the long distance thing.

Secondly, Dave would be kept very busy in her absence. He had his full time job, which he still loved, along with several exams to study for. He simply would not have time to miss her.

Finally, this time he would get to go to China too. He had only five weeks to wait and then he would be off. It had been far too long.

Yup, this time it would be different...

...this time, he missed her more.

Five weeks was far too long, she had been gone one weekend and he was already missing her like crazy.

An addict whose supply had just been shipped overseas.

Xiao Yi, wo hen xiang ni.

Zai na li?

Wo ai ni.

Xxx

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

The Caveman's 1st Cave

Dave had never been a very greedy person. His list of things he wanted had never been very long and grew shorter all the time.

There was, however, one item that had remained at the top of the list for as long as he could remember. Every time anyone asked what he wanted for a birthday/Christmas/souvenir he would answer the same, yet no one would buy him one. The world is full of selfish people.

It was, of cause, a house.

December 18th 2009, Dave finally ticked it off his list. That said, he hadn't actually seen the place. He was in London, it was in Liverpool and, being a new build, the last time he was up in The Pool it had been very much a work in progress.

He was back in Liverpool on the 19th, but on a pretty tight schedule.

Arrival into Liverpool.
House not seen.
Pick up van.
House not seen.
Go to Ikea.
House not seen.
Spend several hours shopping.
House not seen.
Load backaching amounts of funiture into van.
House not seen.
Drive to new house...

On the way back, Jean went to pick up Bian and his parents who had kindly offered to help with the move, Kin needed to return his car and Xiong stayed with the van, leaving Dave alone with a key.

And so it was, that despite numerous people helping out with the move over that day and the two weeks that followed, Dave's first glimpse of his new place he was entirely alone.

It was beautiful.

A dream come true. It was a good thing he was alone, because his breath caught and his eyes watered and if anyone knew he would have lost his reputation of World's Most Manly Man.

The walls were white, the floors wooden, the stairs carpeted in a cream. Everything was so clean and new. In a word, it was...

Perfect.

The moment passed, the work began, starting with four van loads of furniture up a flight of stairs followed by countless nails, screws and other such things. When the last of the furniture was finished two weeks later it was time for Dave to head back south.

It was agonising and physically exhausting, but, truth be told, Dave enjoyed every minute of it.

A fantastic Chrismas and a great New Year.

Huge "Thanks!" to everyone who helped out.