Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Anya's new crib.

Anya, Dave's second neice, had grown tired of her little home and had finally decided to move. Less than a year old, and this would be her third home, not including the hospital in which she was born. Once again she decided to take her parents Ste and Jenny along for the ride. Well, someone had to look after them.

The new place was bigger with less rent and a moderately green neighbourhood. Anya had done well. She had her own room, which was connected to Ste and Jenny's one of cause, so she could keep them out of mischief, filled with all the latest technology. A talking teddy! Genius.

She had also created herself a darlek-davros-type walking machine, so she was mobile and her plans for world domination were well on there way.

And finally she had a cage to lock herself up in the living room...

strange child...

Friday, May 19, 2006

Interesting Statistics

With a hugh essay to write and very little time to do it, Dave did what any good student would. He researched completely unrelated facts on the internet.

Apparently, on average, every year each person in England spends:

?48 on themself for their birthday
?31 on a present for each close friend or relative
?83 on each child they have
?200 on birthday parties

That comes to around ?20,000,000,000 every year for the country.

'Interesting,' thought Dave. He then continued to find more unrelated facts and figures and actually did a little bit of maths.

It costs ?2 to feed a child for a week in a poor country.

Thats ?104 to feed a child for the whole year.

Thats around 192,307,692 children wishing England a Happy Birthday this year.

'That's nice.'

Monday, May 08, 2006

Perfect Age

The perfect age to be, currently 21, was due for it's annual review in just over one month on June 15th. Judging from various social, environmental and political issues, experts expected a rise in the perfect age from 21 to 22.

This was good news for Dave, currently 21 and the perfect age, who, coincidently, would also age one year on the day of the review, June 15th. He had his figures crossed.

This year he wanted to do something slightly different for his birthday. He wanted to donate it to charity.

He wanted no cards, no presents, no wrapping paper, no shinny things and no cake... well maybe a little cake, but no candles. Instead, he wanted every penny that would have been spent on him donated.

He had a charity in mind. Orphans in China who currently recieve far less for the whole year than Dave was likely to earn on that one day. He knew someone with connections in such a Chinese orphanage and was exploring the most effective way to help out, be it simply handing the money over now, or holding on to it until his next trip to China to ensure it's full usage.

He didn't expect this tiny contribution would greatly alter the world as we know it, but in the words of one of the finest philosophers around today,

"Every little Helps"
- T. Esco.