Midweek, the large group of Statisticians took on the nearby mountain. Despite having awful balance, a fear of heights and a lack of stamina, Dave had not once turned down the challenge of a mountain, nor quit before reaching his goal, and he wasn't about to start. Besides, these were Statisticians, surely they'll be equally ill equipped, maybe, dare he dream, worse.
No. The rest of the group was up and down that mountain at a speed equivalent to a decay rate of -0.5, whilst Dave was stuck at 0.5, a joke lost on every single reader of this page, but fitting given the situation.
Walking/crawling inch by inch up the side of this mountain, Dave was asked time and time again by his bored helpers if he wanted to quit. 'Never.'
Sure enough he made it to the cottage at the top and had himself a delightful dish.
The cottage was nice, and he planned to stay there until winter when he could skate down on the snow. Alas, he was informed he must head of straight away, and he slowly began to crawl back down again.
He sliently wished Jean's mum was around to give him a helping hand.
Later that day, his efforts had not gone unnoticed and he was given a new label to wear with pride.
"The Climber"
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
ET phone home...
Dave collapsed into his new bed, tired and upset.
Having woke at 3am, 15 hrs ago, he had taken a taxi, a plane, a bus, two trains, a coach and a minibus to get here. He had problems at the airport with his hand luggage being too big, he had got lost in Rome, he had been given the wrong room and worst of all his phone lacked any kind of signal and he was now faced with a week cold turkey with no Jean.
The lessons hadn't started yet and this trip already sucked.
Then a light at the end of the tunnel, a payphone! After talking to Jean for 5 minutes the world suddenly took on a nicer glow. He realised how beautiful the town he was staying in really was, the weather was nice and the endless amount of delicious free food was a definite bonus.
Clearly this was how an addict felt after a quick fix. Dave would have to go to group on his return.
Having woke at 3am, 15 hrs ago, he had taken a taxi, a plane, a bus, two trains, a coach and a minibus to get here. He had problems at the airport with his hand luggage being too big, he had got lost in Rome, he had been given the wrong room and worst of all his phone lacked any kind of signal and he was now faced with a week cold turkey with no Jean.
The lessons hadn't started yet and this trip already sucked.
Then a light at the end of the tunnel, a payphone! After talking to Jean for 5 minutes the world suddenly took on a nicer glow. He realised how beautiful the town he was staying in really was, the weather was nice and the endless amount of delicious free food was a definite bonus.
Clearly this was how an addict felt after a quick fix. Dave would have to go to group on his return.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Change
Change always happens. Not always big, not always small, not always good, not always bad, but always. Every second of every day.
Not surprisingly then, things had recently changed for Dave.
Pea had cut his hair.
Aline had left. Back to the Land of the Mole Divas. Dave had been there as she boarded the coach to London, where, true to form, she caused everybody to be late. She wanted to get off a stop earlier and was informed, very rudely, that this was most inconvenient and she would be charged an extra ?14.50 to do so.
Despite her plans to come back in January, Dave would miss her. Hell, he had even got in a car with Princo to be able to see her off.
Aline wasn’t alone in disappearing and Dave had to saw farewell to several others too, but the biggest change of late had occurred much closer to home.
Ste and Jenny had split up.
They still wanted to be friends, and for both of them and Anya’s sake Dave agreed it would be best if they did. Jenny was a decent person and Ste had no regrets.
He wished all three the best.
Not surprisingly then, things had recently changed for Dave.
Pea had cut his hair.
Aline had left. Back to the Land of the Mole Divas. Dave had been there as she boarded the coach to London, where, true to form, she caused everybody to be late. She wanted to get off a stop earlier and was informed, very rudely, that this was most inconvenient and she would be charged an extra ?14.50 to do so.
Despite her plans to come back in January, Dave would miss her. Hell, he had even got in a car with Princo to be able to see her off.
Aline wasn’t alone in disappearing and Dave had to saw farewell to several others too, but the biggest change of late had occurred much closer to home.
Ste and Jenny had split up.
They still wanted to be friends, and for both of them and Anya’s sake Dave agreed it would be best if they did. Jenny was a decent person and Ste had no regrets.
He wished all three the best.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Scratch
Pea had been growing his hair for around 32 years, a neat trick for a 20 year old. It had reached the point that he could use it to skip, which helped keep him in shape and gave him something to do.
It had therefore not been pleasant for him when he was given the choice of lose it or lose the roof over his head. After six weeks on the streets, he finally went to the barbers.
Dave and the rest of his brothers had never seen anything really wrong with the hair, though they had a common fear that it may make him stand out in the wrong kind of way. A group of drunks in Liverpool need very little excuse to start something. If nothing else, at least Pea would be safer walking around now.
It therefore came as quite the shock, when just days after his cut Dave recieved a phone call informing him the new look Pea had been attacked.
Pea had been going to get a takeaway, minding his own business, when he was punched in the face for no reason at all other than the sick amusement of a worthless scum. His glasses were smashed and his face was cut open requiring stitches.
The lady in the takeaway gave Pea a name and the event was then reported.
The police have a name, a time, a witness and most probably CCTV footage. What more do they need?
It had therefore not been pleasant for him when he was given the choice of lose it or lose the roof over his head. After six weeks on the streets, he finally went to the barbers.
Dave and the rest of his brothers had never seen anything really wrong with the hair, though they had a common fear that it may make him stand out in the wrong kind of way. A group of drunks in Liverpool need very little excuse to start something. If nothing else, at least Pea would be safer walking around now.
It therefore came as quite the shock, when just days after his cut Dave recieved a phone call informing him the new look Pea had been attacked.
Pea had been going to get a takeaway, minding his own business, when he was punched in the face for no reason at all other than the sick amusement of a worthless scum. His glasses were smashed and his face was cut open requiring stitches.
The lady in the takeaway gave Pea a name and the event was then reported.
The police have a name, a time, a witness and most probably CCTV footage. What more do they need?
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Aline
"Did you get Aline's text?" asked Jean, during Dave's daily phone call after work.
"No, what?"
"She's leaving."
Dave had known Aline almost from day one. Six years ago, he first saw her when she walked into his registration class by mistake on her first day of school. Having gone to school together, University together and lived together, six years down the line they were the best of friends.
And now she was leaving. Her visa had run out, she was going home.
Dave lost count of the number of friends he'd said goodbye to this year because they were "going home".
Bloody foreigners.
That Aline could find a way back one way or another Dave had no doubt. After six years of her constantly stalking him he knew he would never be rid of her that easily. As such, this wasn't goodbye, it was just...
"See you later, babe."
"No, what?"
"She's leaving."
Dave had known Aline almost from day one. Six years ago, he first saw her when she walked into his registration class by mistake on her first day of school. Having gone to school together, University together and lived together, six years down the line they were the best of friends.
And now she was leaving. Her visa had run out, she was going home.
Dave lost count of the number of friends he'd said goodbye to this year because they were "going home".
Bloody foreigners.
That Aline could find a way back one way or another Dave had no doubt. After six years of her constantly stalking him he knew he would never be rid of her that easily. As such, this wasn't goodbye, it was just...
"See you later, babe."
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Draft 1
Dave had handed in a 60 page document on 'Time series Models' a week ago. He was now sitting with his supervisor discussing it.
The conversation was quite long, with little in the way of good comments.
Dave had written
"... any stationary process, under certain conditions,..."
His supervisor spent half an hour or more explaining to him that this did not make sense. It was completely stupid and missed the point entirely. How can it be "any" if it has to have "conditions", it should be "a" not "any".
To add to this, Dave had consistantly writen things like
"...would not..."
This really seemed to get under his supervisors skin. "Would not" is such a weak statement. It spits in the face of hundreds of years worth of statistical research. It should be "does not".
Dave doubted he was really cut out to be an academic. He just didn't care about such petty little things. Having said that, he would not leave here until they called him 'Doc' and he was all the more determined to succeed.
After an hour and a half of verbal abuse, made all the worse because his supervisor kept apologising which ensured Dave that he was probably holding back, Dave felt pretty good.
Despite everything he had been told, this paper had a LOT less comments scribbled over it than his last one so Dave was happy to be headed in the right direction.
Either that, or his supervisor's pen had run out...
The conversation was quite long, with little in the way of good comments.
Dave had written
"... any stationary process, under certain conditions,..."
His supervisor spent half an hour or more explaining to him that this did not make sense. It was completely stupid and missed the point entirely. How can it be "any" if it has to have "conditions", it should be "a" not "any".
To add to this, Dave had consistantly writen things like
"...would not..."
This really seemed to get under his supervisors skin. "Would not" is such a weak statement. It spits in the face of hundreds of years worth of statistical research. It should be "does not".
Dave doubted he was really cut out to be an academic. He just didn't care about such petty little things. Having said that, he would not leave here until they called him 'Doc' and he was all the more determined to succeed.
After an hour and a half of verbal abuse, made all the worse because his supervisor kept apologising which ensured Dave that he was probably holding back, Dave felt pretty good.
Despite everything he had been told, this paper had a LOT less comments scribbled over it than his last one so Dave was happy to be headed in the right direction.
Either that, or his supervisor's pen had run out...
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
July 2006
On the 5th of July, Jean became yet another year older. Now 24 it would not be long before she would be collecting a pension. Since Dave's money was all Jean's anyway, an expensive present seemed somewhat daft. Dave, therefore, opted for the sentimental touch. An A3 sized picture of Jean lovingly penciled in and an extended addition of his blog. She seemed happy.
July 6th saw Anya becoming one year old, although the party wouldn't be till Saturday. Becoming one was a very serious matter. With great age comes great responsibilities and Anya felt she needed a few days to adjust to the new pressures of life before she would be ready to face the world. Jean, meanwhile, was putting her best foot forward and attending an interview at RNIB (Royal National Institution of the Blind).
July 7th Jean recieved first contact from RNIB asking her to come in and provide a little further information. Dave assured her this was probably a good sign, despite them assuring her she was not yet guaranted anything.
July 8th, Anya finally had to face her public as the vast majority of both her parents families were pouring into her little house. Stylish as ever, she decided to be fashionably late and slept for the early part of her party before coming down and kicking off the fun. She was very quickly buried under a mountain of gifts.
July 10th and Jean recieved a phone call from RNIB. It was not good news. IT WAS GREAT NEWS!!! She got the job!!! Life is good. Dave went out after work with her to celebrate with a very quick drink. Shell also tagged along claiming it was her birthday.
July 14th Jean went down to RNIB to tie up the lose ends and discovered she would be starting July 31st.
July 15th the happy couple went partying to celebrate once more at Aline's. Drink, music and a handful of friends with belated birthday presents for both Dave and Jean made for a very agreeable night. Shell tagged along again, this time claiming that the party was not only for her birthday but that this was her house. Some people.
After several very hot and uncomfortably sweaty days, July 24th saw the happy couple happy once again whilst celebrating being a couple. It had been one year since their little party in China which offically declared them united. It had been a lovely little wedding.
July 25th saw two boys and two girls wearing very little getting physical and wet together. After swimming, Aline and Macca came home with Dave and Jean and enjoyed a very delightful meal cooked by a very delightful Mrs Dave and the housepet.
As the end of July approached, with Jean all set to start her dream job, it was shaping up to be a very nice little month.
July 6th saw Anya becoming one year old, although the party wouldn't be till Saturday. Becoming one was a very serious matter. With great age comes great responsibilities and Anya felt she needed a few days to adjust to the new pressures of life before she would be ready to face the world. Jean, meanwhile, was putting her best foot forward and attending an interview at RNIB (Royal National Institution of the Blind).
July 7th Jean recieved first contact from RNIB asking her to come in and provide a little further information. Dave assured her this was probably a good sign, despite them assuring her she was not yet guaranted anything.
July 8th, Anya finally had to face her public as the vast majority of both her parents families were pouring into her little house. Stylish as ever, she decided to be fashionably late and slept for the early part of her party before coming down and kicking off the fun. She was very quickly buried under a mountain of gifts.
July 10th and Jean recieved a phone call from RNIB. It was not good news. IT WAS GREAT NEWS!!! She got the job!!! Life is good. Dave went out after work with her to celebrate with a very quick drink. Shell also tagged along claiming it was her birthday.
July 14th Jean went down to RNIB to tie up the lose ends and discovered she would be starting July 31st.
July 15th the happy couple went partying to celebrate once more at Aline's. Drink, music and a handful of friends with belated birthday presents for both Dave and Jean made for a very agreeable night. Shell tagged along again, this time claiming that the party was not only for her birthday but that this was her house. Some people.
After several very hot and uncomfortably sweaty days, July 24th saw the happy couple happy once again whilst celebrating being a couple. It had been one year since their little party in China which offically declared them united. It had been a lovely little wedding.
July 25th saw two boys and two girls wearing very little getting physical and wet together. After swimming, Aline and Macca came home with Dave and Jean and enjoyed a very delightful meal cooked by a very delightful Mrs Dave and the housepet.
As the end of July approached, with Jean all set to start her dream job, it was shaping up to be a very nice little month.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
34 things to do before your 10.
Randomly surfing the net, Dave bumped accross an interesting article entitled "33 things kids should do before they're 10". As he glanced over the list, he wondered how many his niece Emma would have done, how many his niece Anya will do and how many he himself had gotten round to...
1. Roll on your side down a grassy bank
2. Make a mud pie
3. Make your own modelling dough mixture
4. Collect frogspawn
5. Make perfume from flower petals
6. Grow cress on a windowsill
7. Make a papier mâché mask
8. Build a sandcastle
9. Climb a tree
10. Make a den in the garden
11. Make a painting using your hands and feet
12. Organise your own teddy bears' picnic
13. Have your face painted
14. Play with a friend in the sand
15. Make some bread
16. Make snow angels
17. Create a clay sculpture
18. Take part in a scavenger hunt
19. Camp out in the garden
20. Bake a cake
21. Feed a farm animal
22. Pick some strawberries
23. Play pooh sticks
24. Recognise five different bird species
25. Find some worms
26. Ride a bike through a muddy puddle
27. Make and fly a kite
28. Plant a tree
29. Build a nest out of grass and twigs
30. Find ten different leaves in the park
31. Grow vegetables
32. Make breakfast in bed for your parents
33. Make a mini assault course in your garden/the park
He was imediately struck by a question. What on earth did "23. Play pooh sticks" mean?
Some research later, well after all he was doing a PhD, he discovered "pooh sticks" was a game invented by Whinnie the Pooh, where people drop sticks in the water under a bridge and see whose stick comes out the other side of the bridge first.
Thinking back to his own childhood, he remembered something that surely every child should experience that had been neglected in this list.
He remembered very fondly sitting with his mother as she read to him and his brother. Something so simple, yet unforgettable and unmissable. He therefore amended his list.
34. Learn to read with your parents.
1. Roll on your side down a grassy bank
2. Make a mud pie
3. Make your own modelling dough mixture
4. Collect frogspawn
5. Make perfume from flower petals
6. Grow cress on a windowsill
7. Make a papier mâché mask
8. Build a sandcastle
9. Climb a tree
10. Make a den in the garden
11. Make a painting using your hands and feet
12. Organise your own teddy bears' picnic
13. Have your face painted
14. Play with a friend in the sand
15. Make some bread
16. Make snow angels
17. Create a clay sculpture
18. Take part in a scavenger hunt
19. Camp out in the garden
20. Bake a cake
21. Feed a farm animal
22. Pick some strawberries
23. Play pooh sticks
24. Recognise five different bird species
25. Find some worms
26. Ride a bike through a muddy puddle
27. Make and fly a kite
28. Plant a tree
29. Build a nest out of grass and twigs
30. Find ten different leaves in the park
31. Grow vegetables
32. Make breakfast in bed for your parents
33. Make a mini assault course in your garden/the park
He was imediately struck by a question. What on earth did "23. Play pooh sticks" mean?
Some research later, well after all he was doing a PhD, he discovered "pooh sticks" was a game invented by Whinnie the Pooh, where people drop sticks in the water under a bridge and see whose stick comes out the other side of the bridge first.
Thinking back to his own childhood, he remembered something that surely every child should experience that had been neglected in this list.
He remembered very fondly sitting with his mother as she read to him and his brother. Something so simple, yet unforgettable and unmissable. He therefore amended his list.
34. Learn to read with your parents.
Geneva
Having finally arrived in Geneva, after four days of travel the magical Swiss pass finally lost it's powers and expired. It was then that Dave read a leaflet about the Swiss pass. Apparently it could also give free access to most of the museums they had paid to see. Huh.
Four days of travel, little sleep and sorching temperatures finally took it's toll on the group and they examined the Geneva museums half-heartedly. It was time to eat.
They found a nice restaurant near the Geneva main station and got stuck in. The food was nice, from what Dave could remember of his very large salad, but the truly rememberable experience was the company.
No of cause Dave wasn't thinking of the Trio stuffing there faces along side of him. He'd seen them 24/4. No, he was mesmorised by the univited little guests.
Small birds snuck into the restaurant and, when Jean had gone to the toilet, now sat pearched on Jean's plate finishing her left-overs. It was an unbelievably adorable sight.
After the food and a short mid-day nap for the Trio whilst Dave read quitely, they set off to take advantage of one of Geneva's highlights.
Free Bike rental.
A 50 francs returnable deposit ( just over 20 pounds) and some ID was all that was required and then 3 hours of Bicycle fun. Dave hadn't rode a bike for several years. He was slightly worried he was about to make a complete prat out of himself.
Thankfully it's true, you never forget.
Riding around the Geneva lake, with the sun shining and a cool breeze was a wonderful end to a wonderful journey.
Switzerland should certainly be on everyone's to do list.
Thank you Lin Yin.
Four days of travel, little sleep and sorching temperatures finally took it's toll on the group and they examined the Geneva museums half-heartedly. It was time to eat.
They found a nice restaurant near the Geneva main station and got stuck in. The food was nice, from what Dave could remember of his very large salad, but the truly rememberable experience was the company.
No of cause Dave wasn't thinking of the Trio stuffing there faces along side of him. He'd seen them 24/4. No, he was mesmorised by the univited little guests.
Small birds snuck into the restaurant and, when Jean had gone to the toilet, now sat pearched on Jean's plate finishing her left-overs. It was an unbelievably adorable sight.
After the food and a short mid-day nap for the Trio whilst Dave read quitely, they set off to take advantage of one of Geneva's highlights.
Free Bike rental.
A 50 francs returnable deposit ( just over 20 pounds) and some ID was all that was required and then 3 hours of Bicycle fun. Dave hadn't rode a bike for several years. He was slightly worried he was about to make a complete prat out of himself.
Thankfully it's true, you never forget.
Riding around the Geneva lake, with the sun shining and a cool breeze was a wonderful end to a wonderful journey.
Switzerland should certainly be on everyone's to do list.
Thank you Lin Yin.
Bern
BEARS!!! Real live cuddly, sitting, standing, walking talking bears!! Well, not talking, but still. Bern had a bears. Three times as many bears as there had been pandas in the chinese panda park! All three of them were very cute. Though they kinda looked a little sad.
In a small theatre next door to the bears, Dave discovered that Bern took it's name from the bears that used to run wild in the forrest which was were Bern now stands, along with other interesting facts. So these bears were in fact the rightful owners of Bern and had been locked up for a crime they didn't commit. Dave quickly had images of a Prison Break.
Another notable creature that used to live in Bern was Einstein. Dave visited the very flat were the stupid genius lived and heard all about his life story. Unfortunately, Einstein wasn't home.
Einstein was a failure. He flunked out of school and was refused entry into several universities. Originally German, he quit his nationality to become Swiss. The Swiss didn't want him and he spent five years without nationality.
Funny how big trees can grow from small acorns.
It was a nice place to visit.
Just outside Einstein's flat was the grand clock tower. Every tourist in the city had been told that something would happen when the clock struck the hour. A crowd had quickly gathered.
5 minutes to and some little people spun round for 3 seconds.
3 minutes to and a little bird flapped it's wings once and squarked.
On the hour the people spun, the bird squarked and a man hit a bell.
The whole crowd was left with a sense of 'is that it?' Have you ever stood watching a clock for almost 10 minutes?
South of the clock lay several museums. The gun museum was of particular interest to Dave. Not because he had any interest what so ever in guns, but because of the guy who worked there and showed them around.
This guy, like the guy from the clock-museum of Zurich, genuinely loved his job. Dave was once again left with a pang of jealously and hoped one day he too would find his dream.
Overall Bern was wonderful and Dave felt very sorry to leave it. Especially because their next stop would be there last...
In a small theatre next door to the bears, Dave discovered that Bern took it's name from the bears that used to run wild in the forrest which was were Bern now stands, along with other interesting facts. So these bears were in fact the rightful owners of Bern and had been locked up for a crime they didn't commit. Dave quickly had images of a Prison Break.
Another notable creature that used to live in Bern was Einstein. Dave visited the very flat were the stupid genius lived and heard all about his life story. Unfortunately, Einstein wasn't home.
Einstein was a failure. He flunked out of school and was refused entry into several universities. Originally German, he quit his nationality to become Swiss. The Swiss didn't want him and he spent five years without nationality.
Funny how big trees can grow from small acorns.
It was a nice place to visit.
Just outside Einstein's flat was the grand clock tower. Every tourist in the city had been told that something would happen when the clock struck the hour. A crowd had quickly gathered.
5 minutes to and some little people spun round for 3 seconds.
3 minutes to and a little bird flapped it's wings once and squarked.
On the hour the people spun, the bird squarked and a man hit a bell.
The whole crowd was left with a sense of 'is that it?' Have you ever stood watching a clock for almost 10 minutes?
South of the clock lay several museums. The gun museum was of particular interest to Dave. Not because he had any interest what so ever in guns, but because of the guy who worked there and showed them around.
This guy, like the guy from the clock-museum of Zurich, genuinely loved his job. Dave was once again left with a pang of jealously and hoped one day he too would find his dream.
Overall Bern was wonderful and Dave felt very sorry to leave it. Especially because their next stop would be there last...
Monday, July 10, 2006
Interlaken
After another train ride filled with Ba Shi Fen fun, the quartet checked in at Interlaken, the home of the highest mountain in Europe.
The magical power of the Swiss pass seemed to faulter at certain altitudes and only a 50% discount was available for the trip to the Top of Europe. After the discount, this came to 78.50 francs per person (around 35 pounds). Later, looking down on the clouds, Dave decided it was worth it.
The Top had plenty to see and do.
Dave was having a snow fight whilst England was having it's annual heat-wave-week it likes to call summer. The view was blinding. The lack of clouds allowed the sun her true majesticity, the purest snow-white snow reflected this brilliance some more. Sun-glasses would have been advisable. Having no sun-glasses to hand Dave stayed outside just long enough to finish the battle, create new life in the form of a snowman and watch a new death as Jean booted it's little head across the horizon.
Back inside the quartet ventured into the frosty realms of The Ice Palace, a building made purely from Ice, walls, floors and all. Scattered around the Palace lay ice sculptures of various shapes and sizes. Dave's study of "Narnia" told him these all used to be living creatures. He was therefore very thankful the giant mouse was no longer walking around.
There were also restaurants, shops and skiing available, though the quartet lacked the time. Instead they lazily sat at the uppermost point of the lookout station in awe. Dave wondered how much effort must have gone into creating this building. What did people say to the man when he first suggested the idea?
"See that mountain, the big one? I'm gonna build a shopping centre up there."
Dreams can come true.
After sending out postcards to various corners of the world the quartet returned back down the mountain side, watching out for mountain goats and cows with bells.
Where ever they were going next, how could Lin Yin possibly 'top' that?
The magical power of the Swiss pass seemed to faulter at certain altitudes and only a 50% discount was available for the trip to the Top of Europe. After the discount, this came to 78.50 francs per person (around 35 pounds). Later, looking down on the clouds, Dave decided it was worth it.
The Top had plenty to see and do.
Dave was having a snow fight whilst England was having it's annual heat-wave-week it likes to call summer. The view was blinding. The lack of clouds allowed the sun her true majesticity, the purest snow-white snow reflected this brilliance some more. Sun-glasses would have been advisable. Having no sun-glasses to hand Dave stayed outside just long enough to finish the battle, create new life in the form of a snowman and watch a new death as Jean booted it's little head across the horizon.
Back inside the quartet ventured into the frosty realms of The Ice Palace, a building made purely from Ice, walls, floors and all. Scattered around the Palace lay ice sculptures of various shapes and sizes. Dave's study of "Narnia" told him these all used to be living creatures. He was therefore very thankful the giant mouse was no longer walking around.
There were also restaurants, shops and skiing available, though the quartet lacked the time. Instead they lazily sat at the uppermost point of the lookout station in awe. Dave wondered how much effort must have gone into creating this building. What did people say to the man when he first suggested the idea?
"See that mountain, the big one? I'm gonna build a shopping centre up there."
Dreams can come true.
After sending out postcards to various corners of the world the quartet returned back down the mountain side, watching out for mountain goats and cows with bells.
Where ever they were going next, how could Lin Yin possibly 'top' that?
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Zurich
Dave and Jean where going to the far away magical kingdom of Switzerland, with two fairy people, Bian Ce and Lin Ying. Bian Ce was the couple's new pet, who lived with them now in their spare room. Lin Ying was the All knowing Sage who had the great book of knowledge of all things Swiss. It was she who had booked all flights and hotels in the four cities they would stay and she who told them of all places of interest and of the great Swiss Pass which would allow them free transport on trains, buses and boats.
Dave was enormously grateful.
Day one, after an embrassingly small plane ride, compared to the the China adventures Dave was now used to, and a train journey filled with Ba Shi Fan fun, the group arrived at Zurich.
Within moments of taking control of the map, Dave had succeeded in getting them hopelessly lost. An hour later however, it was Dave who came to the rescue and ultimately found the Hotel. It would be this second fact that Dave would focus on.
The Hotel was nice enough, with free Bread, Milk and Porn (both on the TV and in the form of the girl across the street striping in front of an open window).
Zurich had many similar features to back home. As with Liverpool town centre, shops such as H&M, Lush and the mighty McDonalds filled every street corner. There were also obvious differences, for example Zurich had trams, whilst Liverpool had tramps.
Under the guidance of the great Lin Ying, the group found their way to see the national Museum, filled with all sorts of wonderous things, including an unlabelled cup which Dave therefore naturally assumed must be the Holy Grail.
They continued there journey south, and found there way, eventually, to the pretty cool, though slightly small, Bayer's Clock Musuem. It was shoved in the basement of a watch shop and therefore not so easy to spot. They had walked past it twice.
The shop was filled with all kinds of neat little clocks and watchs great and small. The man in charge clearly loved his work and spoke with a passion about every item on display. Dave couldn't help wishing he had a job he loved that much.
Two boat rides, a tram trip and a brief shopping spree later and the group finally headed to the station and said a fond farewell to their new home.
What wonderous place would Lin Ying have in store for them next?
Dave was enormously grateful.
Day one, after an embrassingly small plane ride, compared to the the China adventures Dave was now used to, and a train journey filled with Ba Shi Fan fun, the group arrived at Zurich.
Within moments of taking control of the map, Dave had succeeded in getting them hopelessly lost. An hour later however, it was Dave who came to the rescue and ultimately found the Hotel. It would be this second fact that Dave would focus on.
The Hotel was nice enough, with free Bread, Milk and Porn (both on the TV and in the form of the girl across the street striping in front of an open window).
Zurich had many similar features to back home. As with Liverpool town centre, shops such as H&M, Lush and the mighty McDonalds filled every street corner. There were also obvious differences, for example Zurich had trams, whilst Liverpool had tramps.
Under the guidance of the great Lin Ying, the group found their way to see the national Museum, filled with all sorts of wonderous things, including an unlabelled cup which Dave therefore naturally assumed must be the Holy Grail.
They continued there journey south, and found there way, eventually, to the pretty cool, though slightly small, Bayer's Clock Musuem. It was shoved in the basement of a watch shop and therefore not so easy to spot. They had walked past it twice.
The shop was filled with all kinds of neat little clocks and watchs great and small. The man in charge clearly loved his work and spoke with a passion about every item on display. Dave couldn't help wishing he had a job he loved that much.
Two boat rides, a tram trip and a brief shopping spree later and the group finally headed to the station and said a fond farewell to their new home.
What wonderous place would Lin Ying have in store for them next?
Father's Day 2006
A war had broken out. A war of Art. Alan and Peter battled constantly for the crown of best Natsios Artist.
The term war may be slightly too strong. More of a fisticuffs, which Peter was only vaguely aware of and Alan found only slight irritation over and no one else cared. Never the less, Dave had decided this Father's day he would enter the battleground fully armed. He had produced an A3 picture of himself with his daddy and needed only a frame.
Alan and Jean joined him on his quest to find an A3 frame and all three failed miserably.
Oh well. They then contiuned on to see the Father.
On the bus ride, they met with there ever present stalker Khany. Jean sat to chat with him, whilst the Natsios brothers sat further back.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Alan said,"You spit that again and I'm going to shove that down your throat."
Dave was completely confused, until a teenager two seats back stood up angerily waving a straw saying, "Your gonna shove this down me throat r ya?"
Dave had not even noticed the spitting and Alan was already shorting it. He looked at the kid with an almost bored expression and said simply, "If you spit it again, yes."
The kid stared at him some more. Dave wondered what he was thinking. Although Alan was not actually all that tall, most of his friends found him so damn scary they would usually guess his height at around 8ft. How big did he look to this 2ft punk who was considering 'starting something'? Clearly big enough, since he sat back down and shut up.
Dave was impressed.
On arrival at the Fathers, Dave was surprised to learn that people were surprised he could draw. How the heck could his own mum not know he could draw?!?!
The picture was liked, despite being frameless and they all lived happily ever after...
..for the rest of the day.
The term war may be slightly too strong. More of a fisticuffs, which Peter was only vaguely aware of and Alan found only slight irritation over and no one else cared. Never the less, Dave had decided this Father's day he would enter the battleground fully armed. He had produced an A3 picture of himself with his daddy and needed only a frame.
Alan and Jean joined him on his quest to find an A3 frame and all three failed miserably.
Oh well. They then contiuned on to see the Father.
On the bus ride, they met with there ever present stalker Khany. Jean sat to chat with him, whilst the Natsios brothers sat further back.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Alan said,"You spit that again and I'm going to shove that down your throat."
Dave was completely confused, until a teenager two seats back stood up angerily waving a straw saying, "Your gonna shove this down me throat r ya?"
Dave had not even noticed the spitting and Alan was already shorting it. He looked at the kid with an almost bored expression and said simply, "If you spit it again, yes."
The kid stared at him some more. Dave wondered what he was thinking. Although Alan was not actually all that tall, most of his friends found him so damn scary they would usually guess his height at around 8ft. How big did he look to this 2ft punk who was considering 'starting something'? Clearly big enough, since he sat back down and shut up.
Dave was impressed.
On arrival at the Fathers, Dave was surprised to learn that people were surprised he could draw. How the heck could his own mum not know he could draw?!?!
The picture was liked, despite being frameless and they all lived happily ever after...
..for the rest of the day.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
The Talk
The month of June, usually a sunny happy time when all people great and small celebrated the birth of Dave, had been clouded this year. Clouded, not only literally, but figeratively.
Dave's birthday paln had thus far been succesful, raising 100 pounds, with only a handful of presents slipped in by mistake. Unfortuantely, Dave himself had been unable to enjoy the success.
The weeks before his birthday, and his actual birthday, had been spent worrying night and day about completing his annual review. A paper, required only to be between 5 to 10 pages, needed to be handed in. It was almost 70 pages long before his supervisor was happy and he handed in it the morning after his birthday and collasped. Quite literally. He stayed in bed the rest of that day and the day after, full of cold. A handful of friends came round to point and laugh.
He appreciated it.
Days later, with his illness slowly recovering, he needed one final piece to complete his review and ensure him a place in Uni next year. He needed to give an hour long speech about his work to all the members of the department. His overall luck stayed with him, as his illness was almost entirely gone by the day of the speech, except for his voice, which was still gone. But who needed a voice to give a speech anyway?
He arrived 10 minutes early to set up. He had prepared a beautiful powerpoint slide show, with around 30 slides. He would give a brief over few of his topic, with historical references and explain what he had been doing.
15 minutes later, 5 minutes late, the first person arrived to watch. Another 10 minutes later they realised he was the ONLY person who was coming to watch.
"I have no interest in this subject," he declared, "You can skip the background information."
The speech was thrown out of the window. The new, improvised speech was considerably smaller, though still focussed very much on the slideshow. Until 5 minutes later, of cause, when the computer died without reason and the slideshow dissappeared.
"Alright, your supervisors are happy for u to continue next year, that will do."
... That was it? Months of hassle and heartache from his supervisor and it was all over with a "that will do"?
'Whatever,' thought Dave, 'At least it's over.'
'That will do.'
Dave's birthday paln had thus far been succesful, raising 100 pounds, with only a handful of presents slipped in by mistake. Unfortuantely, Dave himself had been unable to enjoy the success.
The weeks before his birthday, and his actual birthday, had been spent worrying night and day about completing his annual review. A paper, required only to be between 5 to 10 pages, needed to be handed in. It was almost 70 pages long before his supervisor was happy and he handed in it the morning after his birthday and collasped. Quite literally. He stayed in bed the rest of that day and the day after, full of cold. A handful of friends came round to point and laugh.
He appreciated it.
Days later, with his illness slowly recovering, he needed one final piece to complete his review and ensure him a place in Uni next year. He needed to give an hour long speech about his work to all the members of the department. His overall luck stayed with him, as his illness was almost entirely gone by the day of the speech, except for his voice, which was still gone. But who needed a voice to give a speech anyway?
He arrived 10 minutes early to set up. He had prepared a beautiful powerpoint slide show, with around 30 slides. He would give a brief over few of his topic, with historical references and explain what he had been doing.
15 minutes later, 5 minutes late, the first person arrived to watch. Another 10 minutes later they realised he was the ONLY person who was coming to watch.
"I have no interest in this subject," he declared, "You can skip the background information."
The speech was thrown out of the window. The new, improvised speech was considerably smaller, though still focussed very much on the slideshow. Until 5 minutes later, of cause, when the computer died without reason and the slideshow dissappeared.
"Alright, your supervisors are happy for u to continue next year, that will do."
... That was it? Months of hassle and heartache from his supervisor and it was all over with a "that will do"?
'Whatever,' thought Dave, 'At least it's over.'
'That will do.'
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Anya's new crib.
Anya, Dave's second neice, had grown tired of her little home and had finally decided to move. Less than a year old, and this would be her third home, not including the hospital in which she was born. Once again she decided to take her parents Ste and Jenny along for the ride. Well, someone had to look after them.
The new place was bigger with less rent and a moderately green neighbourhood. Anya had done well. She had her own room, which was connected to Ste and Jenny's one of cause, so she could keep them out of mischief, filled with all the latest technology. A talking teddy! Genius.
She had also created herself a darlek-davros-type walking machine, so she was mobile and her plans for world domination were well on there way.
And finally she had a cage to lock herself up in the living room...
strange child...
The new place was bigger with less rent and a moderately green neighbourhood. Anya had done well. She had her own room, which was connected to Ste and Jenny's one of cause, so she could keep them out of mischief, filled with all the latest technology. A talking teddy! Genius.
She had also created herself a darlek-davros-type walking machine, so she was mobile and her plans for world domination were well on there way.
And finally she had a cage to lock herself up in the living room...
strange child...
Friday, May 19, 2006
Interesting Statistics
With a hugh essay to write and very little time to do it, Dave did what any good student would. He researched completely unrelated facts on the internet.
Apparently, on average, every year each person in England spends:
?48 on themself for their birthday
?31 on a present for each close friend or relative
?83 on each child they have
?200 on birthday parties
That comes to around ?20,000,000,000 every year for the country.
'Interesting,' thought Dave. He then continued to find more unrelated facts and figures and actually did a little bit of maths.
It costs ?2 to feed a child for a week in a poor country.
Thats ?104 to feed a child for the whole year.
Thats around 192,307,692 children wishing England a Happy Birthday this year.
'That's nice.'
Apparently, on average, every year each person in England spends:
?48 on themself for their birthday
?31 on a present for each close friend or relative
?83 on each child they have
?200 on birthday parties
That comes to around ?20,000,000,000 every year for the country.
'Interesting,' thought Dave. He then continued to find more unrelated facts and figures and actually did a little bit of maths.
It costs ?2 to feed a child for a week in a poor country.
Thats ?104 to feed a child for the whole year.
Thats around 192,307,692 children wishing England a Happy Birthday this year.
'That's nice.'
Monday, May 08, 2006
Perfect Age
The perfect age to be, currently 21, was due for it's annual review in just over one month on June 15th. Judging from various social, environmental and political issues, experts expected a rise in the perfect age from 21 to 22.
This was good news for Dave, currently 21 and the perfect age, who, coincidently, would also age one year on the day of the review, June 15th. He had his figures crossed.
This year he wanted to do something slightly different for his birthday. He wanted to donate it to charity.
He wanted no cards, no presents, no wrapping paper, no shinny things and no cake... well maybe a little cake, but no candles. Instead, he wanted every penny that would have been spent on him donated.
He had a charity in mind. Orphans in China who currently recieve far less for the whole year than Dave was likely to earn on that one day. He knew someone with connections in such a Chinese orphanage and was exploring the most effective way to help out, be it simply handing the money over now, or holding on to it until his next trip to China to ensure it's full usage.
He didn't expect this tiny contribution would greatly alter the world as we know it, but in the words of one of the finest philosophers around today,
"Every little Helps"
- T. Esco.
This was good news for Dave, currently 21 and the perfect age, who, coincidently, would also age one year on the day of the review, June 15th. He had his figures crossed.
This year he wanted to do something slightly different for his birthday. He wanted to donate it to charity.
He wanted no cards, no presents, no wrapping paper, no shinny things and no cake... well maybe a little cake, but no candles. Instead, he wanted every penny that would have been spent on him donated.
He had a charity in mind. Orphans in China who currently recieve far less for the whole year than Dave was likely to earn on that one day. He knew someone with connections in such a Chinese orphanage and was exploring the most effective way to help out, be it simply handing the money over now, or holding on to it until his next trip to China to ensure it's full usage.
He didn't expect this tiny contribution would greatly alter the world as we know it, but in the words of one of the finest philosophers around today,
"Every little Helps"
- T. Esco.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
"I have a secret..."
Sunday saw the usual cramming of people into a little house for Easter/Dad's birthday fun. As always, Dave was happy to see his family and big talk of marriage and bridesmaid dresses was in the air.
Dave felt slightly disappointed that Ste and Jenny had asked Emma to be bridesmaid, not him, but oh well, can't win im all. It was clear from Alan's face that he felt the same. Baldy would have been perfect for the little purple dress they had.
Emma, as always, dragged Dave to one side so they could begin their teach/play battle all over again.
"I have a secret..." she annouced suddenly.
"What?"
"I know your Father Christmas!"
....
.... big belly... beard... hardly ever sees her... it was all so obvious!
Dave was Father Christmas!
Dave felt slightly disappointed that Ste and Jenny had asked Emma to be bridesmaid, not him, but oh well, can't win im all. It was clear from Alan's face that he felt the same. Baldy would have been perfect for the little purple dress they had.
Emma, as always, dragged Dave to one side so they could begin their teach/play battle all over again.
"I have a secret..." she annouced suddenly.
"What?"
"I know your Father Christmas!"
....
.... big belly... beard... hardly ever sees her... it was all so obvious!
Dave was Father Christmas!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Oops
Dave had been bashing away at his computer for months in a desperate attempt to have a very important paper all done and dusted in time to go to press.
That's right, this would be published, Dave's name would be in print.
Now approaching the final week, when all the results should be well and truely in and only a quick write up should be required, Dave gave his program a final once over check.
'... oh no...'
There were advantages and disadvantages to the copy/paste method of repeating something 1000 times. The obvious advantage was it was unbelievably quicker than writing it all out each time.
The disadvantage being one tiny, crucial, mistake in the first one would become 1000 tiny, crucial mistakes and the whole set of results would be useless.
'....that should be "i-1" not just "i"....'
Damn.
That's right, this would be published, Dave's name would be in print.
Now approaching the final week, when all the results should be well and truely in and only a quick write up should be required, Dave gave his program a final once over check.
'... oh no...'
There were advantages and disadvantages to the copy/paste method of repeating something 1000 times. The obvious advantage was it was unbelievably quicker than writing it all out each time.
The disadvantage being one tiny, crucial, mistake in the first one would become 1000 tiny, crucial mistakes and the whole set of results would be useless.
'....that should be "i-1" not just "i"....'
Damn.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Mother's day 2006
Ingredients:
5 'children' aged 19 to 28
5 'children's' partners
2 grandchildren
1 husband
Throw the ingredients randomly into a small 2 bedroomed terraced house, shake well and voila the perfect mother's day present.
This year had come so close to that, with only Pea and Rach letting the side down, shame on them. Flowers, chocolates and cards filled the room. Dave, in his never ending attempt to be original, wrote his mummy a book. Or rather he printed out his already written blog. Either way his mummy was pleased, and that's all that mattered.
Having twelve peoples great and small in one little house, mostly in one little room, is pretty snug. Dave was quite often dragged away by his over excited neice Emma. "Let's play hide and seek!!!"
"Emm, there's not alot of places to hide in this room..."
"I can hide under the bed! Come on, let's play!"
... doesn't knowing where a person is hiding kinda spoil the game just a tad?
Dave began his equally determined attempt to try and teach his neice a few new reading words. The battle of wits commenced. It ended up very much in a tie, with Emma under the bed and Dave reading "Red, Blue, Yellow..." to himself.
His other neice, Anya, was as predictable as ever. The amount she cried seemed directly poportional to the inverse of how close she was to Jean. i.e the closer she got to Jean, the louder she got. So cute.
Everyone else sat around chatting about this or that while stuffing themselves full of Teddy-bear cookies.
It was an overall happy occasion.
5 'children' aged 19 to 28
5 'children's' partners
2 grandchildren
1 husband
Throw the ingredients randomly into a small 2 bedroomed terraced house, shake well and voila the perfect mother's day present.
This year had come so close to that, with only Pea and Rach letting the side down, shame on them. Flowers, chocolates and cards filled the room. Dave, in his never ending attempt to be original, wrote his mummy a book. Or rather he printed out his already written blog. Either way his mummy was pleased, and that's all that mattered.
Having twelve peoples great and small in one little house, mostly in one little room, is pretty snug. Dave was quite often dragged away by his over excited neice Emma. "Let's play hide and seek!!!"
"Emm, there's not alot of places to hide in this room..."
"I can hide under the bed! Come on, let's play!"
... doesn't knowing where a person is hiding kinda spoil the game just a tad?
Dave began his equally determined attempt to try and teach his neice a few new reading words. The battle of wits commenced. It ended up very much in a tie, with Emma under the bed and Dave reading "Red, Blue, Yellow..." to himself.
His other neice, Anya, was as predictable as ever. The amount she cried seemed directly poportional to the inverse of how close she was to Jean. i.e the closer she got to Jean, the louder she got. So cute.
Everyone else sat around chatting about this or that while stuffing themselves full of Teddy-bear cookies.
It was an overall happy occasion.
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