"Chi, chi!"

"So what are we doing tonight?" Dave asked, sticking to his faithful routine. Jean always seemed to think he knew what was happening when people made plans and thus always forgot to fill him in. 'I sooo wish I knew Chinese'

"Oh, were going to a meal."

Why Dave asked he wasn't sure, 9 times out of 10 the answer was going to a meal. The other 1 time out of 10 it was just a snack. He was currently a stone heavier than previously and gaining.

"Cool."

The meal was enormous, as always, filled with wonderful foods. The conversation, however, flew right over Dave's head.

"What are we talking about?" he asked for the hundreth time.

"Oh nothing," came the familar reply.

"Chi, chi!" came Mama's command. ("Eat, eat!") Dave wondered to himself if maybe he was being fattened up for some sacrificial meal at a latter date. Maybe.

Suddenly all eyes were on him. Mama was pointing to her nose. "Zhe shi sheng ma?"

Oh no, here it was. It was Dave's time to shine. A PhD student surrounded by some of China's rich and famous and he was reduced to telling people he knew "Bi zi" meant "nose". The worst part though, was that he was almost certainly getting them all wrong.

Putting from part to part on his face, Dave said the equivalent of , "Nuse, EE, Air...." 'Ah Crap, I always forget what Mouth is.' Everyone laughed. Since Dave wasn't trying to be funny, this removed the possiblity of laughin WITH him, leaving only AT. Still, at least he was making them happy.

"Zhe shi sheng ma?" said Mama again, putting at her hair. This was her favorite one, and Dave wouldn't dissapoint.

"Mao."

Everyone laughed, 'Mao' meaning 'fur' not 'hair' and thus proving Dave was indeed a Monkey, with fur on his head. The amusing part for Dave was when occasionally some people took it rather seriously and accused Jean of teaching him wrong. Of cause, Dave would have loved to help her out, but when one does not speak the language how can one?

Well, back to the food.

"Hao chi!"