Wii Fit

There is an episode of South Park in which Cartman buys a failing fairground, closes the doors and keeps it all to himself. Suddenly, because he doesn't allow anyone in, everyone wants to get in. Discovering a fairground costs too much to run, Cartman is forced to open it back up to the public and it becomes a huge success again.

Why mention this? Well it is clearly the source of inspiration for the marketing people down at Nintendo. In the real world, no body seems to play the "You can't have this, nah nah" card better. The Wii is still not easy to find, games such as Mario Kart are few and far between and the Wii Fit simply doesn't seem to exist. Retailing at £70, the Wii Fit is in such high demand that it sells regularly on ebay for £150. Yet Nintendo still splashes out on TV ads and public demonstrations. For all these reasons, Dave was pretty darn happy to say the least when he finally tracked one down.

So what is? The Wii Fit is a game which comes with the Wii Board. The Wii Board is a sensitive weighing device, which can measure changes in balance side to side and front to back. It can thus be used to play games such as virtual skiing, to measure performance in work outs such as push ups and to improve posture through various yoga stances. In total, Wii Fit offers around 50 such things to choose from, ranging from cutely additive to physically exhuasting.

Although true a large amount of the activities on offer COULD, quite easily, be done WITHOUT a Wii Board or the Wii Fit, the majority of people simply don't do them. Tell a person to stand on one leg for 30 seconds a day, then swap to the other leg and repeat and it simply won't get done. Put them on a Wii Fit and the same task becomes fun. It shifts exercise away from the "work" catorgory that alot of people have placed it in, back to the "play" slot where it belongs.

But most importantly, it produces pretty graphs.

Dr? Who?

"...aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh..." sighed Dave. After bursting for a Wii for weeks it felt really good to finally have one.

Virgin had recieved a new stock of 28 Wiis. All 28 had sold out within 20 minutes. Jean had managed to get number 26. Mission accomplished.

After an incredibly fast weekend with Jean, Bian and a Wii, came Monday and Dave was presented with a new problem. Although he had work to do, he had no timetables, no set obligations, not even a meeting with his supervisor, nothing. For the next two weeks, he was completely his own boss. And the Wii was just sitting there...

On one shoulder was Evil Dave, dressed in the sluttiest little devil costume you could imagine. Very sexy, especially his legs. Evil Dave whispered little things into Dave's right ear.

"Two weeks free. Two weeks! Take this week off, go play Zelda! ... Zelda.... Zelda.... Zelda.... "

Thankfully, on Dave's other shoulder was Good Dave. Dressed in an adorable little angel costume, complete with halo. Still very sexy, but in more of a wedding day, white dress kind of way. Good Dave was there to whisper into Dave's left ear.

"Five minutes won't hurt. I mean, come on, it's Zelda! You only live once."

Could Dave regain focus? Would he ever complete his PhD? Would anyone who read this ever be able to get rid off the disturbing image of Evil Dave?

Find out, next time.

I really need a Wii.

Dave and Jean were over at Xiong and Re's new place for a meal. It was nice. Samuel, a privately hired chauffeur, had picked them up from their door, Xiong and Re had cooked everything and Kelly had been asked over to provide "entertainment". What more could anyone ask for?

The apartment was lovely. A modern flat, with incredibly comfortable sofas. Jean checked out every room in the place, including the housemates room who she had never met. Why Jean had felt the need to explore a strange man's room while he wasn't around was a mystery. Why Re had felt comfortable showing her around it was more so. Privacy was clearly not included in the rent.

The meal was delicious accompanied by standard coversation topics such as late night Porn and all male threesomes. Then came time to play some physical games with Kelly. Dave knew what Jean would say before she said it, and she said it before the games even began...

"Dave! I wanna Wii!"

The Wii is surely Nintendo's finest hour. Move over naked chef, the Wii is the ultimate answer to childhood (and adulthood) obesity, making excercise unbelievably fun. For anyone who doesn't know (welcome to Earth, feel free to take Bush when u leave), the Wii uses motion senses so that the player actually has to move to move their character. Playing Tennis you actually have to swing, racing cows you actually have to steer and boxing you actually have to punch. Alot.

By the end of the night Dave and Jean were aching all over. Their backs, shoulders, elbows and arms, but most of all their pockets. They had to have one.

"I really need a Wii."

But having a Wii was not a straight forward task. Even a year after it's release, the Wii, best selling console out of the three big boys, is completely sold out. No where in Liverpool city centre was there a place to have a Wii. Neither was there many places online. Although the Wii sells for £180, ebay was selling second hand ones for over £200. Clearly everyone was bursting for a Wii and with Christmas in the air things were not going to get better any time soon.

It looked like Dave and Jean would have to wait.